Sunday October 23rd 2016
I got to my makeup at 11am. I was deeply inspired to try something skeletal, something dark and disturbing. This is what happened.
Somehow I got finished in 2 hours and we got our butts to Central Park. It’s an interesting experiment to go out looking the way I do in NYC. People rarely stare at me, especially on the subway. If someone talks to me it’s a rare thing. One woman, an old lady, said I looked scary, but cute. That’s what I was going for. She asked if we were going to a party. That’s what people usually ask. We do something they can’t even fathom. That’s what I love about what I do. I don’t just put on crazy makeup and walk around (or just take it off) I go out in the world and perform for strangers and make a living. I do makeup for fun. I’ve learned it doesn’t effect the prayformance whether I wear no makeup or a lot as far as I know. I do it to challenge myself. It is a challenge to go out with my face painted so outrageously and be %100 confident.
Cover Story was performing at the tunnel a bit later today, so we had time to get ready without rushing. I felt like I’d been running around like a mad person up ’till then. This look took a long time to achieve accurately. The teeth were a pain to draw, but I really was pleased with the results. I looked like a skeleton!
The prayformance itself was tough for both of us. Lots of people watched, but no one talked to us while we played. I go into auto pilot when that happens. I’d rather feel inspired! Only at the very end our friend Sarah arrived and was shocked to see me. She loved my look and another woman was loving us, too. That made it all worth it. I’m sure people don’t know how important it is to artists to have interaction with their audiences. Just gawking at us doesn’t cut it for me. I know a lot of people enjoyed our work today, but how would I really know unless they said something?
Sarah invited us to sushi dinner after we played. We packed up very slowly and talked about our day. I know audience members have a completely different perspective on our prayformances than we do. People can watch, say nothing to us, throw us a few dollars and walk away and be completely mesmerized. People can watch us for half a song and walk away and still be mesmerized. We don’t know what they’re feeling, but when we have a full prayformance with no interaction, we feel alone in a sea of people. It’s conversation, interaction and kind words that makes our day!
We stopped off at Sarah’s place to drop off our stuff and walked with her to sushi at 59th St. The food was really delicious and we had lovely conversation. Sarah knows us better than almost anyone. She said I looked ghoulish and I did a really good job with the look. We walked back to her place and a doorman pretended to be scared of me. I went over and growled at him. It was funny.
We felt great as we got on the subway to go home. I look like ZOMBIE LILA!!
We do what we do without much. Just our own talent and will to f’ing do it. My mom told me the other night her journal is the exact same as mine. “I did a great show and no one came. When are people going to care about what I’m doing? I’m doing the best I can.” (she quoted something similar from her journal.) Yup. That’s my life. People say to us, “You have more fans than you think.” But where are they and when are they going to step up and really support us? When we’re famous? That would be ironic. We need people’s support NOW. Sometimes I don’t believe anything will happen for us, other than if we do it ourselves.