Thursday October 6th 2016
I was so discouraged today. Didn’t want to go out to play at all. I was depressed. Started thinking about Martha’s Vineyard and how much I miss it. We will probably never go there again and I don’t know why. I loved Martha’s Vineyard. We were so supported there. I wish we had more of that. I was hoping we’d do a show once a year in Martha’s Vineyard, but that’s not happening. Not one person who saw the shows liked us enough to bring us back. It depresses me a lot when I think about it.
The park seemed busy and quiet. Three people were waiting for us to begin. One woman sat on a pillar. She had unicorn hair, like me. She had seen us last week, went to our website, read my blog and listened to all of our music. Her name was Rachael. I love that. Such a rare thing. No one has said anything about my blog for months. It’s hard to keep going when no one seems to care. It takes every fiber of our being to do what we do. It’s so easy for someone to write something, say something, throw us a dollar. The least anyone can do is show a little support.
Rachael sat and watched our entire prayformance. It helped to have one person witnessing us. We got through an hour and 40 minutes and I just couldn’t perform anymore. It wasn’t as bad as yesterday, but it was still slow. Rachael knelt and spoke with us while we packed up. The amplified trio started playing. Whenever we hear them, we get sad. I called the park rangers, but who knows if they would come. We walked to the train, got salads for dinner and went home.
Wednesday October 5th 2016
Today was tough. I wasn’t very inspired to get up and got out to play, but I did. I did very simple makeup and hair, but I felt beautiful. That’s all that matters.Dan Rubin came and Cover Story was performing. They hadn’t been at the tunnel for a week. We missed them! They said hello to us. They had a big crowd and it was quiet, so we thought we’d have a great day. Not so much.
We had big crowds but that was it. Generosity? Clapping? Not so much. The entire two hours, the same. A big crowd would gather, they’d clap tentatively, then no one (or maybe just one or two people) would come forward and they’d all just stand there staring at us. No one said anything to us. It was especially hard after seeing a sold out show where people were laughing and cheering and clapping emphatically the night before. We are alone, especially when things get hard. Our frustrations, our bad days aren’t very important to anyone.
I know. Boo hoo, poor me! I’m a world traveling musician who makes a living singing, only two hours a day. Easy you’d say. The truth is, it’s not! We’re struggling every day to get up and do it by ourselves. It is our choice to do it. That’s why no one else in the world does what we do. It’s too hard! I do wish it wasn’t such a lonely path. At least I have my Bunny. Being yourself requires trudging along through life alone. The fact I found someone to be at my side is incredible. We are alone, together, fighting the constant and daily uphill battle to make our art in this unfair and unjust world.
The fact we’re still doing it, that Thoth has been doing this for half his life is staggering. No matter how many great days we have, the days always get hard again. That’s life. We treated ourselves to salads and doughnuts for dessert.
Monday October 3rd 2016 and Tuesday October 4th 2016
So Monday and Tuesday (our days off) were pretty chill. On Monday we went to see a movie on 23rd St. and got a sandwich, doughnuts (at the best doughnut shop in NYC, Doughnut Plant) and ate our (free) leftovers from Sunday night at home. For how little I eat, I f’ing LOVE food!
On Tuesday we stayed in the house all day until time to go see “Falsettos” on Broadway. Sarah Kernochan, James Lapine’s wife, got us free tickets in the orchestra. (James is the director and book writer of the show.) We got there early and got a juice to tide us over for dinner. Picked up our tickets at the box office and went in.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was James. I got up and hugged him. Such an awesome guy. We haven’t seen him since our opera commission last August in Martha’s Vineyard. He’s one of those people I love and admire a lot yet hardly ever see, like my other friend James, from England.
The first act was hysterical. The second act was more serious. I liked the first act more. James talked to us a little when the show was over. The show is in previews so he has to be there to watch it and give notes at the end. Stressful. We walked to 41st St. to have burgers for dinner. It was past midnight when we got home.
Tuesday September 6th 2016
I woke on my own at 8:30am. We got out of the house and to the computer repair shop on 23rd St.. They said it would cost a lot to fix, so I decided to buy a new one. We bought a hard drive so they could transfer all my data for me. We walked to Chelsea Market. On the way a man hung out of a taxi and said, “Thoth, I love you man!” I love when that happens. Thoth deserves some recognition! We got lobster rolls and then Thoth asked if I’d like to have sushi. Even though I knew it’d be expensive, I said yes absolutely.
The bar was open at noon, so we waited 15 minutes and were the first to be seated. I got a chirashi bowl. It was so delicious I was crying! The pieces were so thick and creamy. The rice was so soft and buttery tasting. Oh my goodness me. I love me some good sushi. It’s my vice. “Why are you spoiling me?” I asked Thoth. “Because you lost a friend today, your little computer.” he said. “You’re not spoiled. We work hard.” he said. I love when he spoils me. I don’t feel guilty about it in the least.
We went into the subway to go home and a man came up to us. “Are you still playing at the tunnel?” he asked. “Yes. Only in the Fall.” we said. “I haven’t seen you there in a while,” he said. “I thought they’d chased you away.” Well they kind of did, but not in the way he’s thinking. It was time to start traveling. I ordered a computer on Ebay. It would arrived by Friday, hopefully.
I decided to go back out around 5pm to buy a Bose speaker for us. We had been planning to buy one when we got back to NYC. I got a call from the computer shop who said my backed up hard drive was ready to pick up. I went back to 23rd Street, got the speaker and picked up my hard drive. We got a lot done today.
The phone rang the moment I put the keys in the door to the apartment. It was Meli’s number, but I knew it was Thoth. He was terribly worried about me. I’d been gone for 2 hours. He’s so cute. We both get worried about each other. So sweet. I had the rest of my lobster roll and we went to get deli sandwiches for dinner.
Monday September 5th 2016
My computer turned on in the morning, but when I closed it again it wouldn’t turn on. It was well and truly dead. Ah well. Time for a new computer. We left the house at 3pm and had lunch at Toast. It wasn’t the best meal. Not as good as we remembered it. They got Thoth’s order wrong, too. We hadn’t been there in three years.
I called mom to say hello and tell her what’s going on in our lives. I gave the phone to Thoth so he could say hello, too. It’s a damn miracle they can talk to each other now. It’s taken so long. I’m so proud of us. I can’t really believe this is my life.
Stopped at 34th St and went home. My computer still wouldn’t turn on. Thoth found a place online where I could maybe get it fixed. I spent the night trying to get it to turn on again. No such luck!