Friday September 18th 2015
It was hot today and sort of slow, but it was a good day.
I have fun doing my makeup before going out. Paul came to see us in the park today. We were very surprised to see him. He’s our homeless friend who knows all of our music. He watched our show from the pillar. I was happy we played the opera. He hasn’t heard it yet. I was pretty sluggish and Thoth was a bit feisty with me. He goes full speed ahead even when audiences aren’t as big. I’m pushed to do my very best because he always does his very best no matter what. He leads through example. People didn’t clap very loudly today. I wish they would! Oh well. I’m so spoiled 😛
We took the train down to 4th Street for dinner at Rosottoria. “You play at Bethesda Terrace. My daughter and I saw you on Sunday when it was raining. It was a lovely surprise.” a woman on the train said. That’s two people who have recognized us since the two weeks we’ve been here!
Saturday August 22nd 2015
Thoth got in bed with me this morning. We decided we would go to play in Vondelpark. I took longer to get ready than I expected, and I didn’t really like how I looked. I miss my complex looks, but there’s no reason to do them right now. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I only do intricate makeup when I am certain we have a consistent place to prayform or we’re performing for a big show. If I’m not sure we’re going to play at all, I stay relatively simple.
We got on our bikes and I was feeling shitty. I didn’t want to go out, but knew we should at least try. It’s better to try and fail than not try at all.
We got to the park and set up in the underpass. It didn’t feel like it would be a good play. No performers around and it didn’t seem like many people walking through. BUT…. as we played, people began to stop and we sold CDs! We had a very large crowd after one piece. For some reason we don’t make lots of tips there, yet we sell a lot of CDs. I’d rather sell CDs than make tips. People love our music there. My voice was feeling rested, too. I wish we had a better spot to play here, I’m grateful we got to play at all.
Two policemen on motor bikes and three security guards pulled over and watched us from the opposite side of the road. They were conversing amongst themselves. It was as if they wanted to tell us to stop but they were afraid what our crowd would do. They seemed to realize they were blocking people from watching us, so they moved over to the side we were on. They continued to watch and I could hear them clapping when we finished. People were clearly aware of their presence and wondered what they’d do. Thankfully, they left and didn’t bother us. I actually think they liked us. What a concept.
Thoth played a solo and a really big crowd gathered.
We played one more song and some people talked to us while we packed up. “This is meant for indoors.” the woman in the picture said to Thoth. Thoth was proud of me. I was proud of myself. It was hard, but we did it.
Saturday June 13th 2015
Another great prayformance. The best so far this week!
People stare at us so much here! While we waited to play, I was sitting plucking my violin. A little girl made a beeline for me and stared at me for several seconds. Once we got ready and helped the Fruit Bar lady put the tables and chairs away, Thoth took a picture of me in the space. It took him several times to get a shot with no one in it.
We’re like celebrities in that space. No wonder. People stop and stare even when we’re not doing anything. When people walk by and see us getting ready, they slow down to get a better look. They sometimes even double back to look again. A pedestrian actually came into the space to ask what we were going to do. We take people completely by surprise! When Thoth was snapping pictures of me, a crowd gathered curiously, wondering what we’d do. We started, and the rest of the night we had big, big crowds. We gather such a huge crowd during the Solo section of the opera. A few people over the years of playing here have asked us if we’re famous. I’m getting very comfortable with playing my solo. I’ve jumped a level with prayformance in terms of everything. I really give my all. Having big audiences helps, but even yesterday when our audiences weren’t so big, I did my very best. I’m enjoying playing “Esh and Ee-ay” now. Thoth wanted to play our old set today, but I insisted we play the opera. It was 10:20 when we finished, so we were only able to play 2 songs from our old set before the gates were closed.
God we’re so blessed to be able to prayform in this space! It really couldn’t be any better. Great audiences, great acoustics and great generosity, the three things we need. God I’m so happy.
We walked up to our neighborhood to have dinner at an Italian place we’ve never tried. When this one guy saw me, he exaggeratedly backed up suddenly and put his hands to his mouth. A group of drunk American sounding men saw us and one yelled while laughing, “She’s dressed like Lady Gaga!” I completely ignored him. Being ones self in this day and age takes guts. Any idiot will do their best to bring you down. I don’t want to be hardened by people’s stupid behavior. I want to always be free and be myself, no matter what! Our dinner was delicious. It rained really hard just as we were about to leave, but it stopped and we got back home without getting soaked. What a lovely evening!
Saturday March 14th 2015
Our summer is all set! I bought our plane tickets to Lisbon and Amsterdam (and maybe we’ll go to London, too!) We’re leaving May 19th, the day after our wedding anniversary. Summer in Europe! I’ve missed Lisbon and I’m so excited. It’s such a relief to have bought the plane tickets almost 2 months before leaving. Now we don’t have to worry about it anymore. 🙂 Yay hurray!!
Today it was hot as hell. You could have fried an egg on my head it was so fucking hot. The sun felt like death on our bike ride. Days like these call for very skimpy costumes, hair up and very little makeup. The heat really gets to me. Thoth, too. “I’m not a sun bunny anymore.” he said.
Our performance felt strange to me at first. I was extremely unsure and doubtful of myself. I wondered if anyone liked what we were doing. Why do I doubt myself? Why can’t I feel what our audiences are feeling? When we finished the opera, we played some of the old pieces. The applause and reaction was exactly the same. It was just me doubting myself.
Our friends, the two Susans, came to see us. They got to see the second half of the opera, and a few of the old pieces, plus a completely improvised piece. We didn’t film it, but someone in the audience did. They said they’d send it to me. I hope they will! I felt better by the time we finished. “I don’t hear the difference from when you are improvising and doing a rehearsed piece,” Susan said. “I could listen to your voice forever.” They sat with us for over an hour while we waited for the sun to go down. They bought the new CD. Susan wants me to give a masterclass for her singers on how I use my whistle tone so effortlessly. Wow. I’ve never been invited to do something like that. One moment I’m doubting if I’m any good at what I do, the next I get invited to do a masterclass. Goes to show me I guess. The other Susan said it feels like something magical just happened and clapping will break the spell.
The sun was setting as we biked home, so it wasn’t so hot. My mother had called, so I called her back once we got home. She had listened to the new album, and adored it. She took notes and read them to me. She had nothing but praise for the new album. She was actually crying when she first called me. She said the ending was perfect. That’s what made her cry. 🙂 Just then Michael, our drummer friend, called. I called him back. He’d just gotten the album two days ago and had listened to it twice. “It’s so magical.” he said. He said he felt magical when we were recording but didn’t know if was just because the atmosphere was so full of love He wondered if it would transfer to the album. It did. I was wondering that, too. I told him of my doubts today. He totally sympathized because he goes through the same thing when he performs. I gave the phone to Thoth so they could talk.
Isn’t it interesting how I get that kind of deeply supportive feedback I needed during the prayformance when I was finished. It’s like I did my duty and I’m getting my reward. Michael said I have to realize I’m giving love and it will come back to me eventually. Maybe in an hour, maybe by the end of the day, maybe in a year, but it will come. Thoth said something so sweet to me. I’m so lucky to have a friend like him. “You keep me going.” I said to him. “I’m doing my duty as an angel in training, helping a young angel find her path.” he said.