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A Hard Day

Wednesday September 28th 2016

Photo by Dan Rubin.

Photo by Dan Rubin.

We knew it would be a tough week this week. Rain and wind every day until Sunday. Quiet days are usually the best days for us. A mother and her son from out of town sat across from us on the subway. They were fascinated by our outfits and asked us what we do. “Your outfits are intriguing.” the mother said. She looked up our website on her phone and they got off the train, the son pawing at the phone saying “Let me see!”

Dan, our photographer, was waiting for us at the park. Cover Story wasn’t performing as usual when we arrived. Instead, our guitarist friend was playing. A girl with a violin and amplifier was standing really close to him. I could tell she wanted to play, but Carlos wasn’t stopping to talk to her. We got ready and eventually she came to talk to me. “There’s a schedule of performers here.” I said. “I know.” she said. When Carlos was finished, we went to say hello and set up in the center to play. The girl sat to the side and waited for less than half of our first song, but eventually left.

It was chilly, and I was under dressed. We played our entire set, even though crowds were less than “blegh” all day (not much enthusiasm or clapping.) A few people were deeply impressed by us, but I was on the feisty side and the annoying questions one person asked I answered sharply. (“Are you studying?” and “Are you performing anywhere?”) We gave so much today. We always do. People should count themselves lucky to be able to see us perform in public. We are doing something no one else in the history of the world has ever done. It’s nice to have Dan with us on days like these. At least he is paying attention. We tried playing with the loop Thoth had created for us, but it wasn’t loud enough to really add anything. It was disappointing. We walked to a Chinese/Japanese restaurant when we finished to have dinner with him.

Tuesday September 27th 2016

Today we stayed home all day and went to 23rd St. for dinner at Olive Garden.

Monday September 26th 2016

Thoth and I snuggled in bed for a long time this morning. We were feeling very proud of what we’ve accomplished in our lives. However, Thoth said he had a few episodes this morning. He’s been having them since we were in San Diego. This was the first time I was close to him when he had one. His heart was beating double the speed. We don’t know why he has them.

We went out to 4th street to find somewhere to have lunch. We found a sushi place to try, but Thoth had an episode as he put the first bite of sushi in his mouth and had to spit it out. He lost his apatite, and strangely so did I. I finished more food than he did, but we didn’t eat the rest of the day. A hard day for both of us.

I Give My Art Away For Free

I give everything I do away for free. No one is required to give me anything in return for my art, be it by performing in public or by making vlogs or blogs. People can steal our energy, our image and our music as they please. There are no consequences, nor do they feel guilty for doing so. Why should they? I am in a public space. No one owes me a cent. Our art is free for anyone to listen to, a homeless person to a CEO. No one is responsible for giving us anything in return for the work we do to make our art what it is. It’s taken me 28 years to get where I am, 7 years of which I’ve been doing prayformance. Even as I become a better performer, people watching me in the street will still react the same. Amazed, moved, but confused, scared and unable to act. That is the world’s reaction to our music. If we did the same performances we give outdoors inside, people would be cheering and screaming their heads off, but in public they usually just stand there, put their hands together for a few seconds, and then continue to stand there gawking at us, or walk away. It maddens me, but there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. If I could perform indoors as much as I can outdoors, I would. Our work would still be free, but people would be more responsive and more generous.

I don’t think people understand what the word underrated means. I work for four to five hours every day making a vlog for our channel. I spend hours on top of that making vlogs for my own channel, writing blog entries, doing makeup and prayforming. I give all my energy to doing these things and I get little back for that work. I rarely get compliments about my makeup, which I can sometimes work up to three hours on. Sometimes, like tonight, hardly anyone says a word about our music while we’re prayforming. People rarely comment on our or my vlogs or on this blog, which wouldn’t take even the smallest percentage of energy compared to the work I’m doing to put it out there.

I’m doing everything I possibly can. When I prayform I give %150 to the work. It takes all my concentration to sing and dance and play violin while people are walking by or talking. I’m entertaining hundreds of people for free every night. I go home and I share our life online for hundreds of people to watch and read for free. That’s what life is as a public performer. I have to give so much more than I get back. That is what being underrated means. We are two people alone doing our best to make our art and make a living. The least you can do is show your support. Leave a comment, come see us prayform when we’re in your town, share our music with your friends, throw us a dollar. It’s the damn near least you could do. It doesn’t require any energy. Just think of how much energy we are using to do this. Don’t just stand there. Don’t be a zombie. Participate! Our art can only survive by people’s participation. When we’re gone, people will wish they had. Don’t be afraid to stand up and support our work. We appreciate it and need it more than you will ever know.