Tag Archives: Phantom

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We Are On Retreat

Sunday December 18th 2016

Instead of writing my morning pages when I first got up to my room as I have been, I acted for an hour. I was so turned on from acting last night, I just had to. When I finished, I wrote my three pages and then acted again until 12:30. I couldn’t pull myself away to go downstairs for breakfast with Thoth. He was already making breakfast for me when I came downstairs. “I couldn’t pull myself away.” I said. We’re both really please just to stay home all day and work on various creative things, both in our own private space. No boredom here. “We’re on retreat.” Thoth said. Yes we are. I cleaned the dishes and went back to my room to act and listen to music. Bliss. I pretty much spent the entire day in my room, only coming down in the evening to eat with Thoth. The driveway was frozen so we couldn’t go down the hill. No problem for me. I’m a homebody these days. Please to be so. Went back up to my room where I talked to my old acting teacher Andrew on the phone for an hour. Very enlightening things we spoke about. Marriage, the state of our backwards culture and the state of the arts and the lack of support they have in this modern society. It’s comforting to know the people I care for care about me.

Saturday December 17th 2016

I wrote my three morning pages when I first got up around 8am, edited a vlog for my personal channel and waited for James to get on Skype. I told Thoth I’d be late for breakfast, as we usually talk for a long time. He was late getting on, but let me know. So considerate. We talked for 3 hours. It was so nice. I don’t have people to talk to like I can talk to him. We’re very open with each other.

Went downstairs around 2:30pm to have breakfast with the sweet husband. Talked about things and reveled in our time off together. He’s such a loving and understanding husband. Went back up to my room to listen to music, write and act. I’m having such a wonderful time.

In the evening, I had to pull myself away from my room and go with Mother and Thoth down to Franklin to see the Christmas lights on the Holly Trolley. Mom got the tickets last summer and we had been really excited about it. I didn’t like being around other people. I’m very reclusive these days. We decided not to do it, as it would be 2 hours on a bus with no rest stops. We would be miserable, and possibly get sick. Not worth it. Instead we parked the car somewhere and went to dinner. Lovely. We would have never gotten down to Franklin if this didn’t happen.

Went home and talked with mom for a bit before going back up to my bedroom and spontaneously acted until 12:30 am. It just happens that way sometimes.



Obsessing on Phantom, Plus Our Weekend Prayformance

Monday November 21st and Tuesday November 22nd 2016

I know our work is meant to be performed indoors. I know we’re meant to be “discovered” and thrust into a world unlike the one we live now, but I don’t know if that will happen in our lifetimes (or even if I want it to.) The idea of traveling to a new city every day to do a performance every night is overwhelming to me. To be cramped on a bus or a plane every day to sing for thousands of adoring fans that we couldn’t really talk to feels lonely. Though we’re coming from the very humble place of street art, we do have very genuine interactions with people who see us. I know when we’re gone, people will be amazed we did this in public, even if we continue doing it in public for the rest of our lives. So often people say to us “This is the most talent I’ve ever seen. Why haven’t you guys discovered?” It’s amazing that even on a day like Sunday when we were both freezing, we made the most beautiful music anyway. Our voices blend like two sounds coming out of a dream.  We sound like two little angels singing together. The thing is, if we ever become successful, I want it to be because of our own music and creations. I don’t want to be famous or highly regarded for singing someone else’s music. Despite how hard that is, it’s easier than the possibility of us becoming well regarded for our own music.

I think about Michael Crawford, a man who originated the role of the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. He was the toast of the town back in the day. The biggest star on Broadway. He won a Tony award against Howard McGillin (the man who ended up being the longest running Phantom in B’Way history) back 1988 when I was born. I mean, how high can you go in a career? Not much higher than that. He had a starring role in a Las Vegas production after that. Pretty incredible. Yet, he was never hired to play the role of the character he originated in the film. He has no lasting pay off from his biggest success, and there’s nothing he could do about it. It wasn’t his music or his role. He didn’t own it.

I personally love Michael’s voice. He really embodied Erik (the Phantom). His voice changes. He doesn’t even sound like himself. He’s not the best singer in the world, but he does become Erik. He’s still highly regarded in the musical theater world as a great artist, but I don’t believe he was given the credit he deserved. There are only a few grainy bootleg videos on Youtube of his role as the Phantom, but it is giving nothing to the people who created it.  Maybe there is a great video of Michael in the Broadway vaults somewhere that will be released when the show closes.  I doubt the show will ever close though, and Michael will probably be dead by the time it ever did. It really is amazing that an actor of that caliber doesn’t have a great recording of his best work that can be seen by many people. It’s all relative. I’m saying all this because being in the main stream of theater doesn’t mean you’re going to get all the credit you deserve. There are many performers, singers and musicians who are great and will always be underrated. Usually it’s those who cater to popular taste that get more credit.

Ever since I went to see Phantom two weeks ago with my sister (for the 7th or 8th time) I’ve been obsessing on it again. Acting every chance I get, watching scenes from the show and looking for drawings of Erik. I love this character. He is the reason I am the person I am today. Namely, the way Michael played him. I love Michael. It was so incredible I got to meet him. I wish I hadn’t been so shy and embarrassed and he had more time to talk. What I wouldn’t give to be able to sit down and talk to him. Ask him every question I can think of. I had wanted to ask how he cries every night. He did it in “The Go-Between” and from interviews about “Phantom”, I know he cried every night in Phantom too. He laughed every night too! How do you laugh and cry every night on command? How do you transform yourself into a creature of evil sensuality when that is not your personality? I myself am working on expressing my darker side for a new character in prayformance, but having such a naturally high and feminine voice makes it more difficult. I will always love “Phantom.”

Sunday November 20th 2016

Thoth did NOT want to go out to play today. I did. That’s unusual. The wind chill supposedly would be 20 miles per hour, making it feel like it was in the 30s. That would kill us. I knew if we didn’t go out I’d get depressed, feel guilty and just go nuts.

I wore no makeup and put on four layers of clothes, top and bottom. Plus my coat, scarf, two pairs of socks and two packs of hand warmers in each pocket. It was a long trip to the park. The train we got on was stalled for almost 40 minutes. Yuck. I felt like we were imprisoned. (I’m claustrophobic.) Turns out the park, the tunnel more specifically, wasn’t so cold. I could take off my coat when we began playing and I wasn’t cold. There wasn’t a major breeze as we had been worried about.

Paul was there. He watched us play, hidden in the corner near a pillar. Funny he hates being photographed and we are the most photographed people in the park. After the first song we played, I was ready to pack it in. Not because of the cold, I could handle that, but the audience was so dull. As we kept playing, I was amazed that it got better. We sold two CDs after the second song. Amazing on such a cold day, and the audiences got better too. It was a great day. We only played a little over an hour, but we felt so successful. I knew we would. Our friend, and huge fan, Marianne came to see us and give us some clothes! We were so thrilled to see her. So sweet of her to come into the park in the dark and cold to see us. Amazing. Thank you dear. She walked with us to the subway. Hopefully we’ll see her once more before we leave NYC. One more week. We had dinner at the make-your-own-burger place on 42nd Street. I had been hoping we’d have a good day and feel the way we did and could go out to dinner, and we did! YAY!

Saturday November 19th 2016

I splattered colors all over my face, added glitter and jewels, put my hair up and out we went to the park to play. It was a lovely day, and super busy at the park. It was a wonderful Saturday. Really. Usually Saturdays aren’t as good. We were glad, as tomorrow is supposed to be brutally cold and would ruin the day for us. Playing in the cold sucks. We were very theatrical, and I am very proud of today (and Sunday’s vlog.) I got some great footage of our prayformances. I’m just putting the GoPro on the floor in front of us tilted up a little and you can see us and the ceiling. The Angel Tunnel really is the most aesthetically beautiful place we prayform in the world. We’re very lucky we get to play there.


Final Days with Sis and Back to Prayformance

Wednesday November 16th 2016

First day playing at the Angel Tunnel in what feels like forever! I did some strange, experimental makeup today. Sis hugged and kissed us goodbye. It’s been a very long 10 days since she got here.

The park and tunnel were dead silent. Not many people around. The fountain had been switched off, which added to the stillness. We played to very thin crowds. After “Sea Expressions,” no one clapped at all. They didn’t even move. Just stood there. I’ll never understand it, nor will Thoth. As the darkness came, it got better for us. I left to use the restroom while Thoth did his solo and a woman said she was amazed by us and our music. Even when I’m not in the best mood and not in my best form, people are still blown away by us.

Thoth is the best husband. He takes good care of me and loves me and kisses me. I love him more than anyone else. He sits on the thrown in the center of my heart. He took me to sushi dinner and got me lemon cake and chai tea for dessert. Tomorrow is the 7th year anniversary of the formation of Tribal Baroque. It was really nice to have a day just to ourselves.

Tuesday November 15th 2016

Sis woke me up around 10am. She was anxious to go out again and see another show tonight. I wasn’t so much. I went into the tent while she and Thoth worked on computers and acted for three hours. It was wonderful. I’m really wanting to act these days. After that, we three left the get lunch. I was in a bad mood. Sis had gotten a ticket to see a show I didn’t want to see. I was hoping we’d see Phantom again (which I found out doesn’t play on Tuesdays.) We got food at the grocery store and went home. The internet died and sis went out to see her show. I joined her in town afterwards to have dinner. It was nice. She’s leaving tomorrow. I’ll be glad to have my life back.

Monday November 14th 2016

Sis and I spent the entire day together. On the train into the city, a woman asked if I’d performed in Central Park last night. She was fascinated by us. We got off at 4th Street and walked through Washington Square Park. A couple also recognized me and asked me lots of questions. It was amazing. Two times in one day, who’d seen us the same night, within an hour of each other! It made me realize we need new business cards.

We had lunch and walked to 8th Street. We sat in a park and then walked back to get tickets for Blue Man Group for tonight. I called Thoth, who had just gone to see a movie. “I look so cute.” he said. We walked around more, and had a snack at Whole Foods before heading to the theater at 7pm. The show was great. I laughed a lot and the Blue Men stared at me. I love interacting with performers. After the show, we had dinner at Whole Foods and went home. It was a wonderful day.

A Phantom’s Monologue

Saturday December 19th 2015

Hey guys… Soo…. For some reason I got inspired to make this quick video about something very personal to me…

My “Erik” voice. I’m nervous as I listen to it. It’s very intimate. I’ve never shared it with anyone before, now I’m sharing it with the whole world.

You could say I’m inspired by the other Erik monologues I’ve listened to on Youtube, namely a friend of mine’s and by Benedict Cumberbatch live action vocal performance of Smaug on Youtube. Look it up if you haven’t seen it already. He really goes for it. It inspired me to go for it with this voice. I hope you enjoy.