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Feeling So Successful!

Saturday May 28th 2016

I wore no makeup tonight. I was still blowing my nose too much. It rained like mad while we played, but a crowd still gathered. I was stunned. That’s what happens here in Lisboa for us, thankfully. I was feeling so happy and successful. Even though it rained, we had a wonderful night. It’s amazing we can live like this. I don’t understand how it is I fell into Thoth’s life at the time I did and in almost 8 years we have done so many amazing things together, just through making music together. Who knows what lays in store for us. I thank god for my voice. I love singing. I love the feeling of singing. I love the sound of my voice with Thoth, my little Bunny. Isn’t it funny I call him Bunny? No one’s ever asked me why. I hardly ever call him Thoth anymore. Only if I need help with something. He is my husband, and my beautiful singing partner He and the prayformance is the center of my life. I am completely committed myself to this work. I can’t imagine what will happen when I’m 40… 50, 60!! I wouldn’t believe you if you told me I’d be where I am now 10’s year ago. I have so many dreams, and we are completely capable of making all our dreams come true. We are so successful, no matter what anyone says or thinks.

Sunday May 29th 2016

I was all better tonight. My voice was clear and strong! We played to a crowd spilled out across the road trying to catch a glimpse of us tonight. There must have been almost 100 people all in front of us at one point. It was so cool! I keep saying this over and over, but over and over we have this experience, but it’s amazing and we’re so blessed to be able to do it. It’s worth all the worry and fear we have about the future to experience that. I can’t really explain clearly because you’re not me and you could never truly understand. I don’t know why I bother trying to explain it. I can only convey so much through my vlogs and blog. You have to be here and see it live to really understand. I like when people talk to us, when people stay for a long time and say touching things. I’m so glad I can share as much as I can with those who are interested. I just have to keep plugging away. A new friend took us to dinner. He’d met Thoth back in 1999! He didn’t know anything about me.

A Slow Day, Some Wonderful Support and a Vlog about WTF Questions…

Sunday March 13th 2016


Hey! This Sunday was a slow one. Not many people gathering (even though my idea of “not many people” is a lot more than most people’s idea of it.) I think days like this are hard because I don’t mean they’re aren’t lots of people watching us, I mean for the amount of people that are watching, they’re not as generous as they should be. WTF is going through people’s minds, I will never know. We’re giving free, beautiful, original art to people. It’s mind boggling. And no, it’s not that they don’t know what to do. There’s a sign that says, “Donations appreciated.” I have to not let it bother me, and I really did my best not to today. When I write about it, I don’t want it to seem that people’s generosity is the only thing I care about, but it definitely helps us and makes things better.

That’s why sometimes I don’t see the audience as my friends. Most people just take what we do and walk away with a beautiful experience, without giving anything back. I guess they think because they don’t have to give, they won’t. That’s kind of insulting though. I wonder if anyone feels guilty when they go home and remember how they didn’t support something so beautiful. We survive on people’s generosity and kindness. We work so hard to remain independent and free to all people, but we can only do that with the public’s continued support. I wonder if our audience realizes that any one of them can make our day by doing something good for us, just as we are doing good for them. We are so grateful to all the people who love and support us. That’s why our friends are so important to us. They are the ones who truly love, support and help us with their love, admiration and care. That’s why I’m so passionate when it comes to being myself and not have to kiss people’s asses. We are worthy of people’s support. What we do is amazing. It deserves to be hear and seen an appreciated. Period.

I was looking at photos of us on Instagram the other day (#tribalbaroque) and got some amazing perspective on what we’re doing. It’s incredible how much I’ve accomplished with Thoth in the past 7 years. I’ve grown as a performer, a singer, a dancer, an artist, a costume designer, a makeup artist… so much! It’s amazing to look back at it. I can’t imagine what other people think about what I’ve done, namely my family and people who knew me before I started doing this. I got out of my hometown, (as I always knew I would) moved to New York and started creating Tribal Baroque from the ground up when I was 21. Now I’m 28 and we have a beautiful music video of an original song, we’ve been traveling across Europe and the USA for 7 years! We even have a fucking documentary in the works and this summer it will be our 4th time going to Europe on our own dime. We’ve released 5 original albums, wrote an opera and are in the process of writing another one. We’ve developed friends and contacts with people all over the world to the point that we have access to a place to stay in Amsterdam, London, Lisbon, San Francisco, Oakland and San Diego. If we ever find a safe place to live in New York, that will be another milestone. I have so many dreams for our work, and I know we can do anything we set our minds to! I also know we will never give up, and no one can ever stop us.

We sang our butts off today, as usual and a few people were super supportive, especially this one guy in the video below. He loved us.

I love when people say the things I know are true. I realize why it’s so important to vlog about our days, because we have documented proof people love us in Balboa Park, and the Angel Tunnel in Central Park and the parking garage in Lisbon. No one can say “Well no one likes you.” or the parks couldn’t say people aren’t enjoying our presence here. We should be fucking promoted by the parks we perform in. They’re lucky we perform in their spaces for free. Some day everyone will truly know and understand that. Some people know that, like the guy above and our close friends and fans who love and appreciate what we do.

I made a feisty vlog about two questions I really hate getting asked. I like making feisty vlogs. It’s different than making feisty blogs, like today’s is turing out to be. You can hear my vocal inflections and sarcasm more easily.

2nd Performance of Esh and Ee-ay in Martha’s Vineyard!!

Sunday September 7th 2015

Sarah Kernochan came over at noon to give us notes. All were to help make the story more clear. Who knows if I would be able to remember and incorporate them! It’s fantastic to have someone who knows our music well enough and can tell us if something doesn’t make sense theatrically. We’ve never had that kind of person who could help us like that before! She had found some maple leaves on her walk and put them on her nose while she was talking. It was so funny, and she was being really serious. I had to immediately start doing my makeup when she left. I felt much more relaxed and ready today. I did a totally different look from last night. God this is so much fun!

Right before we left for the show, I checked my email. Wendy had sent something out to everyone saying “As you surely know, the response and buzz has been very very very good and if I do say so myself WELL DESERVED.” Now that made me feel fantastic! James and Sarah came to pick us up.

IMG_20150906_174901912We got ourselves ready and I got some pictures…

The great James Lapine and wonderful Sarah Kernochan. IMG_20150906_174934342 Here’s Thoth on the stage laughing at something James said. IMG_20150906_175028221Aren’t they cute? (James doesn’t like that word.)
IMG_20150906_175058152 unnamed-1unnamed-2My sister called while we were rehearsing and I put the phone to James’ ear. “Who is this?” she said. “A good friend of your sister’s.” he said. “Guess who that was?” I said taking the phone back. “I don’t know.” she said. “It was James Lapine.” I said. “Oh my god. Can I talk to him again?” she asked. I put the phone back to his ear. “Thank you. I’m happy to make people laugh.” he responded to whatever sis said.

James was cracking us up while we were rehearsing. Whenever we’re around him, he’s always making us laugh. That’s how he is. He’s very, very funny. It helps relax everyone. He’s the most laid back director I’ve ever worked with. No ego, no agenda, he’s just happy to help out in the creative process. No wonder he’s won so many Tony Awards. 🙂
IMG_20150906_180713041Uh oh, he’s coming for me… 🙂IMG_20150906_180717915That’s Wendy in the background and the Narrator to the right of James.
IMG_20150906_182458069 I was happy James would be staying for the show tonight. He has been such a tremendous, unexpected help to us. “Thank you so much James.” I said hugging him before going backstage. “No, thank you.” he said.

Thoth backstage before the show. IMG_20150906_184439790 The audience wasn’t as big as last night, but they were much more comfortable with us. I made more (unnoticeable) mistakes tonight because I was trying to incorporate Sarah’s notes. Thoth sweat his ass off (as usual.) He’s such a force to be reckoned with on stage. I think I added a lot of new shades to my character tonight. Being on stage with my husband makes me feel protected, while allowing me to fully be myself. I have expanded my violin abilities in a huge way this year. People see us as musical and creative equals. 11265308_10153570440609544_3290635441654181470_oWe are extremely expressive in general, but on stage even more so. This opera has forced me to do things on stage I’ve never done before.
10255522_10153570441719544_258578899548043165_oWe got another standing ovation and we stomped our bells while people clapped. That was fun. We played “Gypsy Dance” as an encore. It’s amazing how much I’ve grown as a musician through this work.

More people came to the reception tonight and we sold a lot more CDs. That made me so happy. IMG_20150906_210225877 The three conductors who were invited came to the reception. Ben, the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, came straight up to me and told me his impression. He was so enthusiastic! That’s him on the left. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said. “I’ve never heard a voice like yours before.”  Wow!IMG_20150906_210312055 All three of them loved the show. Meeting them was a highlight of the night for me!IMG_20150906_210317154#1James and Sarah came to the reception, but they had to rush to another event afterwards. I was able to thank James again. He held me by the hands and said, “You were amazing.” I blew him a kiss and he blew me one back.


Kate Taylor came. She was at the house party the other night and was so excited to see the show. Of course she loved it.

IMG_20150906_210703612 I love her style!IMG_20150906_210722496#1 People were bombarding us for CDs and showering us with compliments. That’s such a great thing about doing shows here. We get such great feedback! IMG_20150906_210903818 Puppies!IMG_20150906_210906822A lady is writing a review for Wendy. IMG_20150906_211254530She loved how I pulled the audience in with my little expressions towards them. She adored my expressions.  I wish I could remember what everyone said! I want to hold them in my mind forever! To have such incredible people loving us truly validated my feelings for what were doing. We are amazing, people do love us and good things will happen for us.

Wendy and Caroline took us to dinner afterwards. Wendy gave us fantastic feedback (I wish I recorded it) and read us some of the famous people’s reactions to the show (all positive.) Tony Shalhoub and Carrie Fisher both loved it last night, and Bob Brustein came tonight and was besotted. Lots of incredible people come to shows in MV. What an incredibly successful weekend!!!

PS. The show was filmed, so we’ll have to cut it all together and it will eventually be available for viewing!