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Tough Few Days

Thursday October 6th 2016

1 2I was so discouraged today. Didn’t want to go out to play at all. I was depressed. Started thinking about Martha’s Vineyard and how much I miss it. We will probably never go there again and I don’t know why. I loved Martha’s Vineyard. We were so supported there. I wish we had more of that. I was hoping we’d do a show once a year in Martha’s Vineyard, but that’s not happening. Not one person who saw the shows liked us enough to bring us back. It depresses me a lot when I think about it.

The park seemed busy and quiet. Three people were waiting for us to begin. One woman sat on a pillar. She had unicorn hair, like me. She had seen us last week, went to our website, read my blog and listened to all of our music. Her name was Rachael. I love that. Such a rare thing. No one has said anything about my blog for months. It’s hard to keep going when no one seems to care. It takes every fiber of our being to do what we do. It’s so easy for someone to write something, say something, throw us a dollar. The least anyone can do is show a little support.

Rachael sat and watched our entire prayformance. It helped to have one person witnessing us. We got through an hour and 40 minutes and I just couldn’t perform anymore. It wasn’t as bad as yesterday, but it was still slow. Rachael knelt and spoke with us while we packed up. The amplified trio started playing. Whenever we hear them, we get sad. I called the park rangers, but who knows if they would come. We walked to the train, got salads for dinner and went home.

Wednesday October 5th 2016

Today was tough. I wasn’t very inspired to get up and got out to play, but I did. I did very simple makeup and hair, but I felt beautiful. That’s all that matters.45Dan Rubin came and Cover Story was performing. They hadn’t been at the tunnel for a week. We missed them! They said hello to us. They had a big crowd and it was quiet, so we thought we’d have a great day. Not so much.

We had big crowds but that was it. Generosity? Clapping? Not so much. The entire two hours, the same. A big crowd would gather, they’d clap tentatively, then no one (or maybe just one or two people) would come forward and they’d all just stand there staring at us. No one said anything to us. It was especially hard after seeing a sold out show where people were laughing and cheering and clapping emphatically the night before. We are alone, especially when things get hard. Our frustrations, our bad days aren’t very important to anyone.

Photo by Dan Rubin.

Photo by Dan Rubin.

I know. Boo hoo, poor me! I’m a world traveling musician who makes a living singing, only two hours a day. Easy you’d say. The truth is, it’s not! We’re struggling every day to get up and do it by ourselves. It is our choice to do it. That’s why no one else in the world does what we do. It’s too hard! I do wish it wasn’t such a lonely path. At least I have my Bunny. Being yourself requires trudging along through life alone. The fact I found someone to be at my side is incredible. We are alone, together, fighting the constant and daily uphill battle to make our art in this unfair and unjust world.

Photo by Dan Rubin.

Photo by Dan Rubin.

The fact we’re still doing it, that Thoth has been doing this for half his life is staggering. No matter how many great days we have, the days always get hard again. That’s life. We treated ourselves to salads and doughnuts for dessert.

Monday October 3rd 2016 and Tuesday October 4th 2016

So Monday and Tuesday (our days off) were pretty chill. On Monday we went to see a movie on 23rd St. and got a sandwich, doughnuts (at the best doughnut shop in NYC, Doughnut Plant) and ate our (free) leftovers from Sunday night at home. For how little I eat, I f’ing LOVE food!

On Tuesday we stayed in the house all day until time to go see “Falsettos” on Broadway. Sarah Kernochan, James Lapine’s wife, got us free tickets in the orchestra. (James is the director and book writer of the show.) We got there early and got a juice to tide us over for dinner. Picked up our tickets at the box office and went in.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was James. I got up and hugged him. Such an awesome guy. We haven’t seen him since our opera commission last August in Martha’s Vineyard. He’s one of those people I love and admire a lot yet hardly ever see, like my other friend James, from England.

The first act was hysterical. The second act was more serious. I liked the first act more. James talked to us a little when the show was over. The show is in previews so he has to be there to watch it and give notes at the end. Stressful. We walked to 41st St. to have burgers for dinner. It was past midnight when we got home.

A Hard Day

Wednesday September 28th 2016

Photo by Dan Rubin.

Photo by Dan Rubin.

We knew it would be a tough week this week. Rain and wind every day until Sunday. Quiet days are usually the best days for us. A mother and her son from out of town sat across from us on the subway. They were fascinated by our outfits and asked us what we do. “Your outfits are intriguing.” the mother said. She looked up our website on her phone and they got off the train, the son pawing at the phone saying “Let me see!”

Dan, our photographer, was waiting for us at the park. Cover Story wasn’t performing as usual when we arrived. Instead, our guitarist friend was playing. A girl with a violin and amplifier was standing really close to him. I could tell she wanted to play, but Carlos wasn’t stopping to talk to her. We got ready and eventually she came to talk to me. “There’s a schedule of performers here.” I said. “I know.” she said. When Carlos was finished, we went to say hello and set up in the center to play. The girl sat to the side and waited for less than half of our first song, but eventually left.

It was chilly, and I was under dressed. We played our entire set, even though crowds were less than “blegh” all day (not much enthusiasm or clapping.) A few people were deeply impressed by us, but I was on the feisty side and the annoying questions one person asked I answered sharply. (“Are you studying?” and “Are you performing anywhere?”) We gave so much today. We always do. People should count themselves lucky to be able to see us perform in public. We are doing something no one else in the history of the world has ever done. It’s nice to have Dan with us on days like these. At least he is paying attention. We tried playing with the loop Thoth had created for us, but it wasn’t loud enough to really add anything. It was disappointing. We walked to a Chinese/Japanese restaurant when we finished to have dinner with him.

Tuesday September 27th 2016

Today we stayed home all day and went to 23rd St. for dinner at Olive Garden.

Monday September 26th 2016

Thoth and I snuggled in bed for a long time this morning. We were feeling very proud of what we’ve accomplished in our lives. However, Thoth said he had a few episodes this morning. He’s been having them since we were in San Diego. This was the first time I was close to him when he had one. His heart was beating double the speed. We don’t know why he has them.

We went out to 4th street to find somewhere to have lunch. We found a sushi place to try, but Thoth had an episode as he put the first bite of sushi in his mouth and had to spit it out. He lost his apatite, and strangely so did I. I finished more food than he did, but we didn’t eat the rest of the day. A hard day for both of us.

A Weeks Worth of Behind-the-Scenes Birthday Weekend/Prayformance Vlogs and Blogs!!!!!!!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a whole week! I’ll be back to normal now! My sister and mother were in town this weekend for our 28th birthday and I didn’t want to miss a moment of it. Enjoy!


Sunday Prayformance with Friends and Lovely Dinner

Sunday February 28th 2016

What a magical ending to our magical birthday weekend! I can’t believe we prayformed 4 days in a row, two hours a day, plus had a party and everything else!!

We got dressed, picked mom up and drove to Balboa Park for the fourth day in a row. It seemed quiet at first, but sis and mom would be there for the entire prayformance. Forrest came, too, even though he was sick! I was touched that he came anyway. “It’s good for me.” he said. Tasha couldn’t come. 🙁 🙁 :(. Forrest gave my sister his chair. The first hour for the second day in a row was hard because my voice and body were tired, but I perked up when our other friends Miti and Bassemah showed up. I wasn’t expecting to see Bassemah, so I completely lost track of the piece we were playing. It was an interesting day in terms of audience interaction. My sister is always trying to distract me, so I’m always trying to tell her subtly to be quite, but also I wanted to hug and talk to our friends, but at the same time I have to be professional and sell CDs and talk to the audience.

We finished, packed up and I got to hold a snake. Then we went to Osaka with sis and mommie for dinner. She’s leaving tomorrow morning for Nashville. Thoth is going to drive her to the airport. We drove her to her place and hugged her goodbye. “Thank you mommie for making this weekend possible.” I said.

Sis is staying an extra day tomorrow with us. We’re going to hang out.

Saturday Prayformance with Friends and Lovely Dinner

Saturday February 27th 2017

Today I slept in a bit late. I was pooped from the b-day party. Thoth, too. We got dressed up and went to pick up mom for another prayformance at Balboa Park. I had no idea doing four prayformances and doing all this other stuff with mom and sis here would be so tiring! That’s the reason we usually do nothing else but prayform and rest. We got to the park and set up on Patio B to play. Mom and sis went to have lunch at the Balboa Park Restaurant.

The first hour of prayformance was hard. My voice and body was really tired, but by 4pm, Sister Ida arrived IN FACE and Becca came with two of her friends! They both sat right up front. I instantly feel better when our friends come to see us! They stayed for the rest of our show and stayed to talk with us. Sis and mom had gone to the museum. They came back when we finished. Sister Ida sat with us while we packed up and we laughed together. I love, love, love our friends. Ida told us she had come dressed up especially to see us. I was flattered beyond measure.

Mom, sis, me and Thoth drove to Bleu Boheme for a wonderful candle lit dinner!

28th Birthday!!!

Friday February 26th 2016

Today is our 28th birthday!!!!!!! What a wonderful morning it was! Thoth got in bed with me and Sis came in the room and snuggled with us. Thoth wasn’t feeling so good, but he had the Babes (our stuffed animals) sing happy birthday to us. Sis said it was the cutest thing she’s ever seen. It is so cute. I wish Bunny would let me film it. 🙂

Sis played me happy birthday for me and Jim put on some stupid happy birthday music before sis and I went to the coffee shop for breakfast. I saw our busker friend Chet and said hi. Sis and I talked about my inability to talk to people when I don’t want to. “It’s important to talk to people and have friends.” she said. She challenged me to call up one of my friends this week. I said I would. We biked home and started doing makeup. Sis actually did makeup with me, by herself! I was quite impressed with her skills. Her blending was very good! She’s never done that before.

Mom met us at the house and we drove to Balboa Park for a birthday prayformance! Sis went with Jim who came, too. Our big fan Ali was there as was mom’s host Kathleen, so we had five people waiting for us to play before we even started. I love when that happens. We played and had big applause all afternoon. Thoth and I were on fire and really sang our butts off! It was so much fun. I’d told myself I wasn’t going to sing too much before our party, but I couldn’t help myself. We played through the opera and played some from the old set, too. That was the first time mom and sis saw the opera! They were very impressed. We played from 3-5pm, then packed up and went home to prepare for the party!

People started showing up at 6. We had about 10 people, all close friends and fans from the park. Forrest and his girlfriend Tasha dressed up especially. I’d never seen Forrest dressed up before. He looked fantastic! Yay! Once everyone arrived, we got every to go to the studio to perform two songs. I was so tired. My sister did a mime piece when we finished. It was so funny. It was called “What I Love” and she was miming putting on makeup and performing onstage, then seeing me afterwards and being stupid, like we are. The only word she said was “Sis.” I was touched. We went back in the house and ate dinner. Sister Ida and Mitch were the last to leave. Sis took a liking to Ida, as I did when he came to our b-day party last year.

It was such a lovely birthday!

Mom Sees Prayformance, Sissy Arrives

Thursday February 25th 2016

Today I got all dressed up for prayformance. It would be the first time my mother has seen us prayform in a LOOONG time. I actually don’t remember the last time! We went and picked her up and she loved how I looked, I mean loooved. She was doting on me, as all mothers do. We drove to the park and I got car sick. Thoth dropped us off and I sat down with mom while he parked the car. What a good husband. I felt better and Thoth came back. We walked to our spot in front of Casa Del Prado and set up.

It was a slow day for us, but mom sat in her lawn chair watching us the entire time. I was kind of nervous actually. It was the first time she’s ever watched us like that. I’m always nervous when close family members watch us. Prayformance is a very intimate, exposed and vulnerable thing. It’s easier to do it in front of strangers. It was wonderful to have mom there, though. It was like she was seeing us for the first time, though she’s seen us perform a few times before. She’s never sat and watched an entire prayformance before though. I was surprised. I was not expecting her to watch us. “I’ll see you guys three more times.” she said. I wasn’t expecting that either. She was incredibly complimentary, and genuinely so. My mom has always been supportive of me, but this was the first time she was supportive of us.  Thoth’s mom has never ever watched him prayform, let alone us. She said we looked like twins, but opposites. Even though it was a slow day, I was so happy mom was there to support us. Now that she is sober, it’s like her mind has been cleared. She said some wonderful things. She’s always been supportive of my gifts, but not of Thoth’s. Now she’s a fan!

We went to dinner at the Smoking Goat and then went to pick up my sister at the airport! She was SO excited to see me she was jumping around and shouting, like she does. We drove back to the house and opened birthday presents, then danced around to music in the living room. It was transformative for me actually. I’ve never done that before.

Birthday tomorrow!!!

Mommie Arrives

Wednesday February 24th 2016

My mom arrived yesterday! We dropped her stuff off at her AirBnB, had lobster rolls for lunch, then she took us heavy duty grocery shopping at two grocery stores! It was a lot of fun, and she paid for everything. :o) Mom is in much better shape now being sober. I am so happy for her, and for us. Thoth had been worried about seeing her, but I knew she would be doing much better. We hung out with her at home and Thoth made artichokes for dinner. We lit some candles and ate at the table together. I never thought I would have a mother again, let alone one who would talk with Thoth and be kind and social. We drove her back to her AirBnB place and went home.

First Time Working on the Opera

Tuesday February 23rd 2016

Hey everyone! We started working on the new opera for the first time today! We got the first 3 pieces sketched! I was very proud of us. We don’t have to write new music, we want to.