Tag Archives: getting through it

Doing What Needs to Be Done!

Monday August 29th 2016

It took another 2 hours to get from Sutton to London Blackfriars. Even though we knew we’d have to take the bus, it was still hard. Too much for not enough reward. I was also frustrated about two things I wasn’t getting a response about and it was driving me nuts. There was a guitarist playing at the spot who we’d never seen before. He kept playing and playing until Thoth went over and said we were queuing. He didn’t say when he’d be finished. We both assumed he wouldn’t follow the hour and a half play rule as he’d probably already been playing there for hours beforehand.

After an hour and a half passed. I motioned to him to see if he was done. He kind of mocked my motion as if he wasn’t done. He got out a cigarette and came over to us. I told him it’s normal for people to play an hour and a half, then switch off with someone who is waiting. “Do I look like a normal person?” he said stupidly. I wanted to say, “Yes. I’ve seen your act everywhere in the world.” but instead I said, “It’s just nice to let others play.” For some reason, he did let us play but called us an “American Freak Show.” Who the f*** knows why. I muttered how I didn’t like being called a freak show. What a jerk.

This girl who sings opera came over to watch us. She loves our music. She met Thoth when I’d gone to see James last week. She told us she had arguments with guitarist man. “He plays and plays so he doesn’t have to talk to people and he never wants to share.” she said. So we were right about him. We played less than an hour. Our voices and bodies were too tired. We had crowds for the first half, but they died down after an hour. Oh well. We finished with “Scottish Song” to a crowd of maybe one person, who clapped. I didn’t care because I was happy we did it. “We did it.” I said when we finished, kissing Thoth. We did what we needed to do. We even sold two CDs. We immediately went into the train station to go home, knowing it would take another 2 hours to get back to Sutton. We need to live closer to, or better yet, in Central London when we visit next August. We’ll never play at Blackfriars again, but it did get us through this our first try in London.

We went to a delicious Indian restaurant near home. It was a satisfying ending to a very hard, but very successful day. When we got home, I got two emails with exciting things. I can’t wait to tell you about them.

Sunday August 28th 2016

We decided not to go into the city to play at Blackfriars today. It was cold and rainy and the trains still weren’t running from Sutton, making it a two hour, very boring and seemingly pointless trip. Instead we hung out in the house until 2pm and then went for food and drinks at a pub with Kaja and Emil. I tried not to get upset about not going to play. It was 5pm by the time we were done. The day got away with us. I’m glad. I never enjoy days when we’re not playing and I know we should. We’ll go play tomorrow, even though the trains still won’t be running. Ugh. It’ll be the last time we’ll have to take that trip.

Saturday August 27th 2016

We got out of the house by 2pm. Decent timing, or so we thought. The train from Sutton wasn’t running, again. It didn’t run last Sunday and it took for f***ing ever to get to London Blackfriars. I was pissed off knowing we’d have to take the shaky, vomit-inducing bus instead. I practically threw my violin on the floor I was so mad. I do get upset when things don’t go as planned, and that happens a lot in my life.

We got to Blackfriars at 2pm. It took 2 hours to get there. Ridiculous! We most definitely will be staying nearer to London next time. That kind of long transit makes us miserable. We had to wait another 2 hours to play because the bassist was playing. I was really frustrated. We played an hour and a half. It was ok, but the space isn’t that great for us we’ve found. At least we know now where we need to live and where we shouldn’t play. Next year we’ll audition to play at Covent Garden. That could be the place for us. James and I saw an opera singer there last week and he had a huge crowd. We would blow everyone away.

We walked to Waterloo station to have sushi at Wasabi and then took another 2 hour trip home. That one wasn’t as bad because I took something to keep me from getting motion sick. What would I do without my little Bunny? We can make our way through any problem. We just do what needs to be done!

Getting Hurt while Running (I’m OK though!)

Saturday January 30th 2016

I got up and got ready to go running as I have for almost a month. I was feeling good and slept well.  I ran about 10 minutes from home and turned on a side road to take a breather. When I started to run again, I immediately tripped and fell. It hurt a lot. I didn’t have a phone, so I got up and walked back to the house, crying the whole way. I got to our room crying to Thoth that I’d hurt myself. He dropped everything and ran over to hold me. He brought me in the bathroom to clean me up. My knee was red and stung like hell. I couldn’t stop crying. He cleaned me up and put me in bed to rest. I called sis and told her what happened.

Eventually I got up and made some cereal. Despite that it was cold and cloudy out, we decided to go out to the park to play. I would have felt worse if I didn’t. I slowly got dressed and we drove instead of biking. We’ve driven to the park three days in a row. Jim has lent us his son’s car to use while we’re here. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow. Unless it’s pouring we’ll drive tomorrow too. I’ve been in no mood to bike. 

The park seemed busy, but it was a slow performance for us. We sold a few CDs, though. Playing in the front (on El Prado, where all the people are) Thursday and Friday helps me manage playing in the back (on Patio B where it’s less busy) on the weekends. Saturday’s are surprisingly slow, but Sunday’s are almost always good. When it’s slow in the back, which it’s been all month, it’s really slow. By slow, I mean there is no one in the hallway watching us. The front is rarely ever slow like that. It’s hard to play in the back when it’s slow, but it’s better than nothing. We can’t play in the front on the weekends. There are too many performers fighting for such a small area.

We stopped to take a break and some guys saw us and ran over to us. One had a boom box, the other had a drum, the other had a camera and the other was clearly the dancer. The dancer, called Anointed, asked to sit between us and film. We said sure. He had a really cool outfit on and put on colorful mask. He then asked if we could play while he danced. At first I hesitated, but then said ok. We played “Interlude” and the drummer stood on the rail and played gently with us while Anointed danced in the center. I wish I’d filmed it! Damn! It was awesome. The drummer recognized us from Central Park and he was a really sensitive player, which is rare. That was the highlight of the day for me.IMG_20160130_181529704

We packed up and walked to the car. Thoth held my hand. He’s such a good husband. “We’re getting fish tacos for dinner.” he said. That made me happy. “Is that my treat?” I asked. “Yes. It’s like when you get a lollipop at the doctor’s office.” he said smiling.  What a sweet husband he is. I’m a very lucky girl. Every difficult situation we’ve faced only brings us closer together.


Pushing Through It

Saturday April 11th 2015

God I wish my voice feeling %100 better! Prayformance requires so much energy. I have to be completely healthy to do it comfortably. I’m almost there, but not quite. I have so much in me I want to express and I can’t get it all out yet. I just have to push through it. I can sing much better than I could before, but I want to be back to normal! I felt very fragile today. I had to take a few breaks.  I started getting really scared about the future. Why do I have to get overwhelmed by those feelings? There’s nothing I can do about the future! I was having this weird feeling like my body was numb and I wasn’t really performing. I know I’m feeling strange because my body is healing. I’ll get better. I was very proud of myself for getting through the entire opera. It’s these times that shows me what I’m made of. If I was rich and famous, I wouldn’t be going out to sing. I’d be staying home healing myself.

I admire Thoth so much because he’s still doing this at 60. Most people retire at his age. Thoth has set things up so he can’t retire, but will he be able to prayform when he’s 80? I believe everything will take care of itself. If someone had said to me 6 years ago, “What are you going to do for a living?” I wouldn’t have said, “Well I’ll be married and have performed all over the world.” Everything depends on us being able to get up and prayform. Thank God we have this commission. It’s helping to keep me calm and not so fretful about the future, but sometimes I can’t help it.

Thoth is such a good husband. He works so hard and performs so beautifully. I love him so much. What an amazing blessing it is to be able to be with him and sing with him every day. I am very aware how fragile life is. I completely recreated Thoth’s life when I came into the picture, but now he gets to travel the world and prayform with me. How amazing is that?  I can’t wait until I feel all better. My voice is my life.

Oh ps. I think we’re going to start later tomorrow. Maybe around 3:30 or even 4. It get warmer in the back as the sun goes down and more people start to show up.