Friday March 27th 2015
Our friend Behin came to visit us at the house this morning. We talked for an hour, then she watched me do my makeup. She had to meet up with a friend for lunch, but said she would try to stop by the park later to see us. I wore a new skirt a friend altered for me. I have so many new clothes!
It was an extremely hot bike ride. I was exhausted when we got to the park. As we stopped at a light, a man crossing the street said he loved my outfit. “The bike too? Do you go out like this all the time?” he asked. “Yes.” I said. We saw our friend Della waiting at the bus stop to come see us and waved at him. He stayed the entire 2 hours watching us. We barely had any audiences all day, but it didn’t bother me. We played through the opera and Behin showed up to watch the last few pieces. She even danced with Thoth on his solo. At the end, I told Della we would have stopped earlier if he hadn’t had been there. Just having one person watching us helps. I totally understand why today was so slow and I didn’t take it personally. Even though it was hot, I got cold as we played. Our spot where we play is always breezy.
We stopped at the grocery store and I waited while Thoth went in. A man started speaking to me, asking if I saw the 11 go by. I said no. “You look amazing.” he said taking a look at my costume. “Very sexy.” he said. No one has ever said that to me before, and definitely not without sounding creepy. He was genuinely complimenting me and wasn’t objectifying me. It made me feel good. I don’t consider myself a sexy person. “Am I sexy?” I asked Thoth. “You’re seductive.” he said. “But not all the time.” I said. “No, normally you’re cute, but sometimes you’re seductive.” he said. “Look a princess.” a man said to his daughter. “I’m getting a lot of attention today.” I said to Thoth.
Even though I dress like something that might be considered a fairy or a princess, I feel very different inside. I feel I am more like the Phantom, but I’ll never look like him. I used to dress in dark clothes and dye my hair dark colors, but I’ve embraced my love of lightness, though I still have that love of darkness inside me.