Friday December 16th 2016
I didn’t sleep much last night. Maybe six hours. I was up for two hours or more before finally falling asleep. Mom had a hard time last night, which was worrying me. I got up at 8:30 (an hour before I’ve usually been getting up) in a very bad mood. I spilled something, which made me pissed. I was snappy towards Thoth. I hate when I do that. I was tired. I apologized once I settled down in a chair to write my Morning Pages.
After writing three pages of what happened last night, I felt more cleared and calmed. Thoth and I talked and I called some people. When I had finished talking to people, the phone rang. It was Andrew Kimbrough, my old acting teacher who taught at University of Kentucky. I studied voice for one year there in 2007/2008. He championed me to go to NYC and learn how to compose original music. He cast me as Ariel in “The Tempest” and encouraged me to write my first songs for the show. He introduced me to Meredith Monk’s opera”Atlas”. It was so lovely to talk to him. I told him what was going on with me and he told me what was going on with him. Eventually we just talked about life and our memories of each other at school. His adopted son, whom he let me hold when he was a baby, is 8 now. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen him. He asked if I’d like to call again for a longer conversation. We decided on Sunday. Yay! Something to look forward to!
I went up to my room and saw my friend James from England had written back to me. He said we could talk on Skype tomorrow! Something else to look forward to! Yay! I was feeling much better. I spent the morning editing my vlogs and listening to music. Around noon, Thoth knocked on the door for breakfast time. I love breakfast time with the hubby. He loves breakfast time with the wifey, too! I cleaned up and went back to my bedroom. I got a call from my friend Will, who asked if he could come pick me up to hang at his house. Sure! Thoth didn’t want to come, so it was just me and Will. I’m really glad I went.
We stopped at a violin shop to pick up two violins of his and went to his house. I wrote in my journal and he made me some tea and rice and beans. It was so sweet. He showed me a video of a new singer he discovered called Phillipe Sly singing “The Trumpet Shall Sound”. It’s gorgeous. Look it up! I’m listening to it again now. When I finished my journal entry, we went down to the basement where his speakers were to listen to music. I didn’t have the song I had wanted to show him, so I played my favorite pieces from Die Zauberflote. Eventually I was laying on my back between the speakers conducting and rewinding the song on my favorite parts. That’s how I listen to music. All the music I love, I know it like the back of my hand. All the subtleties. I then played the Paginini Caprices, the first seven. I know it by heart. Will sat a bit away from me watching as I conducted and moved my body to the music lying on the floor. It was wonderful. I love music.
I played one more song, “Music of the Night,” before he drove me home. We talked about our opera commission, “Esh and Ee-ay”. So sweet. At home, mom was up ordering thin crust spinach pizza for us. I spent a little time editing a vlog in my room before food arrived. We had chicken Caesar salad with our pizza. It was really good. I went back to my room to edit more vlogs, write my blog and listen to music, which I’m doing right now.
Thursday December 15th 2016
I spent the morning in my bedroom writing, editing vlogs and reading my books before having breakfast with Thoth. He put some leftover cooked apples in my oatmeal. So good! I wanted us to take a walk in the woods together, but it was too cold for Thoth. Instead, I went alone. It was really, really nice. I made an acting video as if I was lost in the woods. Check it.
Thoth was worried about me when I came home. I spent the rest of the day researching what it sounds like to hear voices, as yesterday’s personal acting vlog was all about a character who hears voice. I’m really having fun filming myself acting. I never considered I could act before. I found a few ‘hearing voices simulation” videos on Youtube. Pretty cool. I’m sure glad I don’t hear voices!
In the evening, we borrowed mother’s car and went to my dad’s house for dinner. There was a Christmas tree and a fire in the fireplace. Lovely. After dinner, I went downstairs with Dad and looked at some of our baby pictures. So sweet. Dad showed me a video of a soprano singing an avant garde classical piece in a school girl outfit. Very cool. We went home and mom wasn’t doing so well. I talked with her until midnight and we listened to me singing from when I was 17.
I couldn’t sleep I was so worried about mom. She called at 2am and needed help. Poor mother! I finally got to sleep around 3am.
Wednesday December 14th 2016
I started a 30 day create challenge for my vlog channel. I also started reading, “The Musician’s Soul” in addition to “The Artist’s Way”. I’m doing my three morning pages every morning now. It feels very good to write long hand. I’m being more creative and reading more instead of acting. I got my period today too. When it got dark, I did my dark makeup and filmed an acting video for my second day create challenge.
I cleaned off the makeup and Will came over for dinner. Thoth made an amazing risotto dinner for us. The kitchen felt wonderful. I had Will read me a poem of e.e. cummings and we all four of us sat down to dinner. Mother, me, Thoth and Will. Afterwards we ate cooked apples and yogurt and I had Will and Thoth write in my journal. He couldn’t believe how beautifully I write. He went home and I cleaned up and went back to my room. Lovely day.
Saturday December 5th 2016
7:30am wake up. Wanted to do more things in the day before we went to my old voice teacher Elizabeth and Jim’s kids vocal recital. I didn’t really want to go. I’m a homebody these days. It’s cold and rainy outside too. I spent the morning in my room acting, listening to music and cleaning up. I got a lot done. I listened to a CD of myself singing my first solo in Jazz Choir at Brentwood High School. I cried. My voice is angelic. I also cried listening to “On the Trans-Migration of Souls” by John Adams. Gorgeous. I wept like a baby.
At noon, I went downstairs to ask for breakfast from Thoth. He finished making our smoothie and oatmeal. Yummy! The best breakfast I’ve ever had. I cleaned the dishes and went back upstairs. It’s so lovely up there. Peaceful, quiet, creative and intimate. We left late for the recital. I didn’t need to sit through 20 young singers. I just wanted to see Jim and Elizabeth.
We caught the last four songs. We sat in the back and waited for everyone to leave before saying hello to Jim and Elizabeth. They’re just the same as I remember them, albeit 10 years older. Me too! We called Will, my old mentor, to tell him where we’d be going to dinner. He wasn’t sure if he could meet us. He’d let us know. We went to Publicity, a bar near their home. Will called saying he would be there soon. I was so happy!
We had a lovely dinner, and when Will arrived I flipped. He was my best friend when I was a teenager. My mentor and my singing partner. I hadn’t seen him since Thoth’s and my wedding in 2014. It was so nice to hug him and hold his hand again. I love Will so much. He’s just like Thoth. An older gentleman, elegant and a lover of music. He just turned 70! We laughed and ate and had a great time. Will is coming over for dinner on Wednesday night. That will be fun!
We went home, Mom was there.
Friday December 3rd 2016
8am wake up. Went upstairs to act and clean my room until noon. We had smoothies and oatmeal for breakfast. Later when Mom got up, I put on “Quidam” on DVD. It was amazing to see it again. I used to watch it all the time, obsessively! I went back up to my room until it was time for dinner. We went to O’Charleys with Mom. Haven’t been there in 6 years. God.
Sunday October 9th 2016
It was going to rain all day. I called my dad, who we’d meet for dinner later that night around 72nd St. He was surprised we were going out to play in the rain. “It can be good for us.” I said. We got ready as usual. It was pouring with rain as we walked to the train. My shoes got soaked. It was really cold too. Our first cold day in NYC.
We got to the park and the tunnel wasn’t too wet. Our guitarist friend was playing. I called dad to tell him where we’d meet him for dinner. The rain had stopped. We began and despite our first inclinations, we were able to play for almost 2 hours. It was really cold and we both wanted to stop, but we didn’t. Playing when it’s cold is hard, and we were both under-dressed.
We finished and I called dad to let him know we had a great day. The sun had come out. We walked to 72nd and Columbus to have dinner with him. He came in the restaurant just as we sat down. It was so nice to see him. I have great parents! I’ll see them both in Nashville in December. He treated us to dinner and we listened to how he was doing. He lives a very different life than us. We walked him to his car, which was parked in a parking garage nearby. He has a little sports car. Drove here from Nashville in it for his 50th high school reunion. We took the train home, stuffed from dinner.
Tuesday July 14th 2015
Neither of us slept well last night. Unfamiliar bed. Thoth was up at 6am. I was up at 11:30. No one was up yet. We wanted to go to Parede to get scones. I told Nuno when they got up. They wanted to go with us, but his grandmother was making lunch for us. We both forgot. She lived right next to them. Her home was full of old relics. “Welcome to my home.” she said in broken English. She speaks Porteguese and French. Nuno and Sarah helped translate for us. “You are so beautiful.” she said to me in Portuguese. “Your eyes are so blue.” She had seen Nuno’s music video and tried to see us play in Chiado last week, but she came too early. Nuno played us an old phonograph. Wow. It sounded so odd. My great grandmother’s house in Mississippi used to look like that.
To our surprise, she had the dining room all set for lunch! We had appetizers and then a main dish and even dessert! We were full, AGAIN. I was so touched. “It’s an honor.” she said. Gosh! To have someone we’ve never met before cook for us and love us so much shows me we are affecting some people in a good way.
We took a walk and stopped at Nuno’s uncle’s store. He wanted to see my eyes. His mother had told him they were beautiful. I took off my sunglasses and he jumped back dramatically. 🙂 We went home and rested until dinnertime. Tonight we’re going to Lisbon to have dinner with some friend’s of Sarah’s from Chapito, then they’ll drop us at home. What a lovely weekend it’s been!
In the evening, we drove to Lisbon. We met some of Sara’s old friends on the street and walked to dinner. It was an unusual place. There was an open kitchen and everyone went to get food together when it was ready. It was like being at a house party. A young man eating with a bunch of friends at another table knew us. “I saw you performing last Friday. It’s really beautiful.” he said. “Thank you.” we said. Sara played Nuno’s music video of us for the table. When it finished everyone at both tables clapped.I felt so loved. I was so tired after eating I slept a bit on the couch. Thoth came at sat with me and the young man asked to take our picture. He really loved us. All photos by Nuno Sa Pessoa and Sara Moura.