Thursday February 26th 2015
The Babes sang me happy birthday in all their cute little voices when I woke up. 🙂 I called my family after crying over Thoth’s birthday card. Dad complimented me on my new drawings. “How did you get so good?” he said. I got over 100 b-day wishes on Facebook, most of which were very thoughtful. 🙂 That made me feel very blessed that so many people care about me. I listened to music loudly on the speaker while dancing and singing around in the kitchen. I read some of my friend James’ blog. Thoth and I practiced for two hours in the afternoon before going to dinner. We went through the second half of the opera and practiced the fast section. I’m excited to try out the new pieces in the park! We biked to Bleu Boheme for a fancy birthday dinner. The couple sitting next to us asked Thoth about his puff which was tied up in a pony tale. “Are you a Buddhist?” they asked. “Even when we’re not dressed up, we still look interesting to people.” I said. The food was stunningly delicious. The waiter brought me a fancy non-alcoholic drink and a surprise dessert! The couple sang us happy birthday. 🙂 “He is so sweet.” the woman said. “Yes he is.” I said. Yes he is indeed.
Thoth and I had a great talk at dinner. All artists, even the greatest, are affected by critical judgement of their work. I find negative judgement of my art to be an attack on my character. My performance IS me. When I experience artists I admire getting hurt or discouraged by critics, I always think, “You are so talented! Don’t listen to those people! It’s a waste of time! Keep doing what you’re doing!” Yet I feel the same way when people judge me! “How can I not let critics affect me?” I asked Thoth. “The first thing is to perform with your full heart even if no one is watching.” he said. “That’s so hard! How do you do that?” I asked. “Because I am dying.” Thoth said. Don’t worry, he doesn’t mean that literally. 🙂 His art is his death dance. “I can die exactly as I please.” he said. When I’m feeling fantastic, as I do now, I see criticism for exactly what it is, a personal opinion that has nothing to do with me. I wish more than anything I could hold onto that on my down days!
I just wanted to make a quick post to say today is my 27th birthday and I am so happy! This card from Thoth made me cry!!
Also, in case you didn’t know, today the FCC passed a strong Title II regulation protecting Net Neutrality! This means the internet remains free and equally accessible to all people! I’d been worried about this for some time and jumped up and down joyfully with Thoth when he told me! HURRAY!!!!
Thursday June 19th 2014
I got up and wished my Bunny a Happy Birthday! There were tons of people BBQ-ing as we walked through The Meadows. I want us to do that before we leave. I don’t think we’ll come back to Edinburgh, unless something changes drastically. We passed the mandolinist and she barely acknowledged us. The Royal Mile seemed pretty slow and there was a guitarist with an amplifier near our spot. We sat on the steps and waited for him to finish. A woman came straight towards us. “I saw you in Berkeley years ago and again 10 years ago here during the festival.” she said to Thoth. “You’re the one who put that show on for me at the church.” Thoth said. They embraced and Thoth introduced me. Her name was Julie. “I was just thinking of you yesterday so I looked up your documentary and was lead to your website. I read your blog and saw that you were performing at St. Giles, so I had to come see you.” she said. We asked if she knew anyone at The Caves. She said she was willing to help us get some gigs there. The guy who talked to us about it a few weeks ago never got in touch with us. After about an hour, I went over and said hi to the guitarist and politely asked him when he’d be finished. “15 minutes. I’m just fooling around.” he said. It’s good for me to talk with other buskers. Usually I make Thoth do it. People are generally friendly here. It’s not like that in New York. Julie said she’d come back another day with her son, who was 4 last time Thoth saw him.
We barely gathered any crowds today. Kind of disappointing it being Thoth’s birthday and all, but we can only do what we can do. We even tried playing “Plucking Song,” one of our softest pieces. It hurt my voice. Prayforming at this spot isn’t very fun unless there’s a crowd. The crowds are the only thing that gives us any reflection. I wish we had a resonant space to play. Our music is meant for resonant spaces. It made me miss the Angel Tunnel. There, we usually have huge crowds during “Plucking Song.” We didn’t play very long. Neither of us felt exhilarated. We took some pictures and walked home.
We both got out of our costumes and changed for birthday dinner at Howie’s. My roots are pretty hideous right now so I put my hair up. Thoth wore his new kilt. We both felt very cute as we walked arm in arm to dinner. Some people on The Meadows waved at us. I think they recognized us from before. The food was excellent, but it wasn’t enough for me. Thoth had been to this place 10 years ago and it was one of his fondest memories. I’m glad we went there again. I was planning to get a scone, but all the shops were closed on the way home.
Happy Birthday to my beautiful husband, Thoth. I love you so much. Thank you for loving me and being my rock. Every day you amaze me. You are so silly. I admire your optimism and bravery. You inspire me to be the best person I can be. I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are my home and in my heart always. I love you forever.
Wednesday February 26th 2014
It’s my birthday! Thoth came in the morning and made all the Babes sing me happy birthday in all their different voices. It’s so cute. He did that the first time last year. He’s going to make cupcakes for me tomorrow. 🙂 We got dressed really lazily. My sister, mom and dad called to wish me happy birthday. I got my birthday card from mom. Jim came home and I asked if he was OK the restaurant we’re going to tonight wasn’t vegan. He said maybe he should pass on it. I texted Mel and asked if she’d like to come. We biked to the park. It was way past 3pm when we started. There was no one in the park. Wednesday’s are notoriously slow. It didn’t matter. We were really relaxed. Mel texted me back saying she’s let me know in a little bit if she can come. No one gathered when we sang “Anya,” but a few people watched “Romanza.” One of the only people watching came over and asked if we sell our music. He loved us and wished us good luck on our trip to Edinburg. After “Waltz,” a older woman was adoring us. I gave her a CD just because I wanted to, but she insisted on paying us for it. We played one more song and packed up. I talked to the woman and Chet came over to say hello. He told us the crazy park ranger Parrish came over and haggled him for no reason. We made our video and packed up, then biked over to the Prado Restaurant. We got a table and Forrest arrived just after we did. He brought me a present! A gift card for an art store and some of my favorite lemon energy bars. 🙂 We had a really nice time talking and ordered a bunch of appetizers to share. Half way through we were surprised by Mel and her girlfriend who arrived with cupcakes! They ordered food and we talked and laughed together. It was a wonderful birthday dinner. I called my sister and everyone said happy birthday to her. The waiter brought me a free custard for dessert. I shared it with everyone. The check came and Forrest unexpectedly paid for our dinner! Isn’t that sweet? We unlocked our bikes outside and Forrest walked us to his car. We passed a resonant space. The road is closed to cars so maybe we could play there! Forrest put our bikes in his big truck and drove us home. He’s one of the most generous people I’ve ever known. Thoth got in bed and I took a shower and listened to music on my computer and drew a bit.