I give everything I do away for free. No one is required to give me anything in return for my art, be it by performing in public or by making vlogs or blogs. People can steal our energy, our image and our music as they please. There are no consequences, nor do they feel guilty for doing so. Why should they? I am in a public space. No one owes me a cent. Our art is free for anyone to listen to, a homeless person to a CEO. No one is responsible for giving us anything in return for the work we do to make our art what it is. It’s taken me 28 years to get where I am, 7 years of which I’ve been doing prayformance. Even as I become a better performer, people watching me in the street will still react the same. Amazed, moved, but confused, scared and unable to act. That is the world’s reaction to our music. If we did the same performances we give outdoors inside, people would be cheering and screaming their heads off, but in public they usually just stand there, put their hands together for a few seconds, and then continue to stand there gawking at us, or walk away. It maddens me, but there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. If I could perform indoors as much as I can outdoors, I would. Our work would still be free, but people would be more responsive and more generous.
I don’t think people understand what the word underrated means. I work for four to five hours every day making a vlog for our channel. I spend hours on top of that making vlogs for my own channel, writing blog entries, doing makeup and prayforming. I give all my energy to doing these things and I get little back for that work. I rarely get compliments about my makeup, which I can sometimes work up to three hours on. Sometimes, like tonight, hardly anyone says a word about our music while we’re prayforming. People rarely comment on our or my vlogs or on this blog, which wouldn’t take even the smallest percentage of energy compared to the work I’m doing to put it out there.
I’m doing everything I possibly can. When I prayform I give %150 to the work. It takes all my concentration to sing and dance and play violin while people are walking by or talking. I’m entertaining hundreds of people for free every night. I go home and I share our life online for hundreds of people to watch and read for free. That’s what life is as a public performer. I have to give so much more than I get back. That is what being underrated means. We are two people alone doing our best to make our art and make a living. The least you can do is show your support. Leave a comment, come see us prayform when we’re in your town, share our music with your friends, throw us a dollar. It’s the damn near least you could do. It doesn’t require any energy. Just think of how much energy we are using to do this. Don’t just stand there. Don’t be a zombie. Participate! Our art can only survive by people’s participation. When we’re gone, people will wish they had. Don’t be afraid to stand up and support our work. We appreciate it and need it more than you will ever know.
Saturday June 13th 2015
Another great prayformance. The best so far this week!
People stare at us so much here! While we waited to play, I was sitting plucking my violin. A little girl made a beeline for me and stared at me for several seconds. Once we got ready and helped the Fruit Bar lady put the tables and chairs away, Thoth took a picture of me in the space. It took him several times to get a shot with no one in it.
We’re like celebrities in that space. No wonder. People stop and stare even when we’re not doing anything. When people walk by and see us getting ready, they slow down to get a better look. They sometimes even double back to look again. A pedestrian actually came into the space to ask what we were going to do. We take people completely by surprise! When Thoth was snapping pictures of me, a crowd gathered curiously, wondering what we’d do. We started, and the rest of the night we had big, big crowds. We gather such a huge crowd during the Solo section of the opera. A few people over the years of playing here have asked us if we’re famous. I’m getting very comfortable with playing my solo. I’ve jumped a level with prayformance in terms of everything. I really give my all. Having big audiences helps, but even yesterday when our audiences weren’t so big, I did my very best. I’m enjoying playing “Esh and Ee-ay” now. Thoth wanted to play our old set today, but I insisted we play the opera. It was 10:20 when we finished, so we were only able to play 2 songs from our old set before the gates were closed.
God we’re so blessed to be able to prayform in this space! It really couldn’t be any better. Great audiences, great acoustics and great generosity, the three things we need. God I’m so happy.
We walked up to our neighborhood to have dinner at an Italian place we’ve never tried. When this one guy saw me, he exaggeratedly backed up suddenly and put his hands to his mouth. A group of drunk American sounding men saw us and one yelled while laughing, “She’s dressed like Lady Gaga!” I completely ignored him. Being ones self in this day and age takes guts. Any idiot will do their best to bring you down. I don’t want to be hardened by people’s stupid behavior. I want to always be free and be myself, no matter what! Our dinner was delicious. It rained really hard just as we were about to leave, but it stopped and we got back home without getting soaked. What a lovely evening!