Wednesday October 26th 2016
I got up excited to try a new darker makeup look today, which I did. Thoth said I looked Gothic.
We got to Central Park in the cold and to our surprise the Conservancy was setting up for their big fundraiser (which blocks the back of the Angel Tunnel where we play.) We knew that would negatively affect our week as the break dancers would come do their thing downstairs. Annoying, as always.
Cover Story finished as we got ready and Herman, one of the singers, came over to hug us and say hello. While we stretched he said, “Your eyes are mesmerizing.” It’s nice that someone at the tunnel likes us. Once we began, the Afrobats started up, playing their boom box quietly. I was sure our day was ruined, and I was right! It wasn’t just them, people didn’t clap while we played really at all or gathered– or tip us or anything. It was as if everyone was ignoring us, or worse, they were just deaf and blind to the beauty that was right in front of them.
On these days it’s especially hard because no one points out or even openly recognizes what’s going on. No one says, “Hey I’m sorry no one is clapping for you guys, you’re amazing, and to play while those assholes are doing their stupid show is incredible! They’re hacks. You guys are original and unique, and you don’t give up! Inspiring! Thank you!” No one says that. They don’t even notice, even though it’s happening right in front of them. A woman said something like that to us back in the summer of 2013 when the Afrobats were doing show after show and we weren’t stopping.
Not only didn’t most anyone clap or tip us today, they didn’t even watch us. It was pretty shitty. We’re doing the best we can and no one was even watching us. I know within myself that we’re doing something the world has never seen and when we’re dead everyone will wish they had supported us, the same as they wished they supported all the other great artists of the past. It actually felt amazing to sing full voice over the Afrobats show. We’re not trying to bother them, but we know how much it irritates them to hear us. They really do hate us for some reason. The other day Ravon (one of the two Afrobats) said “Hey homo!” to Thoth as we were passing by into the Angel Tunnel. They have a deep seated fear and disdain for us, and there is no way to talk to them. Maybe if someone else did, but they don’t listen to conflicting opinions. Well, no, they don’t hate us. What am I saying. They don’t even know us. How can they hate two people they don’t know. They hate something in themselves, their inability to be more free and open, and we threaten and frighten their masculine, ghetto street cred or something like that.
We played through it though, and got through it. Glad when it was over. Yuck. Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain, so we can take a day off to recuperate. When we finished, Marcela set up her stuff and her boom box literally right on top of us. So rude. We had to drag all our stuff out of the way it was so loud. People clapped louder for her than they did for us all day. It was too painfully ironic for us. “We’re doing the best we can. Society is the way it is and we can’t change it. It’s just going to get worse. We can only change ourselves. We succeed by doing our work. Fuck everyone else. When we’re dead no one will care we did this work, but it will be great benefit to us karmically, spiritually, emotionally, and in every other way.” I said. It’s true.The thing that’s hard about a first prayformance day being bad is that I was so creative this weekend. I was in my own little world creating this headdress, and then having that lovely lunch with Marianne made me feel that much better. But then to go out in the world and see how little anyone cares what we do creatively is so hurtful. I won’t forget Marianne saying me writing about the bad days is even more inspiring than the good days, because it shows me as very human. I am human. I know everyone has problems and frustrations, but mine are just as important as anyone else’s. I’m so glad I have this blog and the vlog to get things out there.
At home Meli, Amy and the guests from France were hanging out. It felt so homey and sweet. I love coming home to Meli’s place. It’s the best place we’ve ever stayed in NYC. Going home actually cheers me up. I’m going to miss it here so much. I cleaned my face and went to get chicken for our dinner. I watched the people making our food and thought how lucky I am to have my life. Amy was in love with my new wire headdress and wants me to make her one. “You could be a costume designer.” she said. She’s so sweet and enthusiastic. It made my day. She told our other roommate J.P. about it. “She made this headdress that you would see at the Met.” I heard her say. So sweet. We ate our dinner and went upstairs to work until bedtime.
Tuesday October 25th 2016
Again, Thoth was in a bad mood when I got up. Poor baby. Depression sucks a**, doesn’t it? We got dressed up (I wore my new crown) and we went to 81st Street for lunch with Marianne, one of our biggest fans. She was waiting for us when we arrived. We talked and ate and she gave us designer clothes she didn’t want anymore. She’s been reading my blog for three years and watching the vlog since I started it in 2014. She loves our honesty and bravery going out every day and being ourselves. It inspires her. She says the vlog is more interesting than most things and deserves more attention, as well as us. It completely cheered us up. Thoth had gone to lunch feeling sad, and left laughing and smiling, all because of Marianne. I went to 23rd Street to get more things to make another crown at Michaels and went home. I edited the vlog and blog and sewed hair clips into my tiara until 1am. Being creative is my reason to keep going.
Wednesday September 28th 2016
We knew it would be a tough week this week. Rain and wind every day until Sunday. Quiet days are usually the best days for us. A mother and her son from out of town sat across from us on the subway. They were fascinated by our outfits and asked us what we do. “Your outfits are intriguing.” the mother said. She looked up our website on her phone and they got off the train, the son pawing at the phone saying “Let me see!”
Dan, our photographer, was waiting for us at the park. Cover Story wasn’t performing as usual when we arrived. Instead, our guitarist friend was playing. A girl with a violin and amplifier was standing really close to him. I could tell she wanted to play, but Carlos wasn’t stopping to talk to her. We got ready and eventually she came to talk to me. “There’s a schedule of performers here.” I said. “I know.” she said. When Carlos was finished, we went to say hello and set up in the center to play. The girl sat to the side and waited for less than half of our first song, but eventually left.
It was chilly, and I was under dressed. We played our entire set, even though crowds were less than “blegh” all day (not much enthusiasm or clapping.) A few people were deeply impressed by us, but I was on the feisty side and the annoying questions one person asked I answered sharply. (“Are you studying?” and “Are you performing anywhere?”) We gave so much today. We always do. People should count themselves lucky to be able to see us perform in public. We are doing something no one else in the history of the world has ever done. It’s nice to have Dan with us on days like these. At least he is paying attention. We tried playing with the loop Thoth had created for us, but it wasn’t loud enough to really add anything. It was disappointing. We walked to a Chinese/Japanese restaurant when we finished to have dinner with him.
Tuesday September 27th 2016
Today we stayed home all day and went to 23rd St. for dinner at Olive Garden.
Monday September 26th 2016
Thoth and I snuggled in bed for a long time this morning. We were feeling very proud of what we’ve accomplished in our lives. However, Thoth said he had a few episodes this morning. He’s been having them since we were in San Diego. This was the first time I was close to him when he had one. His heart was beating double the speed. We don’t know why he has them.
We went out to 4th street to find somewhere to have lunch. We found a sushi place to try, but Thoth had an episode as he put the first bite of sushi in his mouth and had to spit it out. He lost his apatite, and strangely so did I. I finished more food than he did, but we didn’t eat the rest of the day. A hard day for both of us.