13.2.2010
Two weeks until my 22nd birthday. I’ll celebrate it in Morocco. Circumstances have turned around for us, I am at peace and happy. We have plenty of money and are being given too much food to eat. Talk about a change! Just last week we were going hungry and almost on the street. Thoth and I are talking a lot, which I love. We have a restaurant to play every day, whenever we want, people love us, treat us well, feed us, and we make great tips. I think “The Scottish Song” is the most beautiful of our pieces. I hope we can record it someday. I truly feel safe for the first time in this whole trip, the worst is over and we can do this. The man that I adore is back, the man who is always laughing, giggling, talking to everyone, and spouting philosophy and music. We are creating together like we wanted to and I am becoming inspired and starting to write again. We are pulling away from the difficult things that began this trip.
My grandfather on my mother’s side died two days ago. I was sad not to be at the funeral. I’ve received much malicious energy from my family. They think Thoth is taking advantage of me and using me, which he has not done at all. I think people are psychically feeling me pulling away from them. We survived the most frightening experience I’ve ever lived through; no money, no hope, no signs, starving to death and sleeping on the street. During that time my family tried hard to make me come home when persuading me might have been easy to do so. Now that we are on the up swing, convincing me to come home will be harder so they are lashing out at us. I am actually willing to give up whatever is necessary in order to do this beautiful work. I believe that in the future everything will be turned around somehow and both Thoth’s and my family’s feelings will change towards us.
How brave you are to follow that voice inside. Many of us struggle to do so even though we know the highest fulfillment is in the journey.
The experience you will gain at such a young age is in measurable. You must house an old soul.
It is a hard thing to understand the love and concern parents feel for their children. I too am guilty of trying to steer my own in a direction that is different from the path they choose. I have always wanted my children to live outside the box but I did not prepare them for the cruelty of society when you do so. So now I find myself scrambling to protect.
Thank you for sharing this with me. I will visit often and look forward to your updates.
Until then…
I used to see Thoth at Central Park, between the years 2000-2003 as I was working in New York at the time. I loved his performance. He is like a Maya or Aztec warrior that landed in our time from another era. I was happy to discover your blog, and the website. I think your art should be developed into a “proper” stage prayformance so that it reaches a wider audience, and you will not have to be arrested or sleep on the street. I will be happy to offer my humble assistance.
( Painting, Photography, Design ).
I hope to see you perform together one day … as I did not have the chance so far. Good Luck ! Amos ( from Israel )
Caitlyn I am sorry for anyone who lashed out at you. Please do not think the whole family is doing so just because one or two do. Those who “lash out” are afraid for you. All of us want only the best for you. We did miss you terribly at Grandpa’s funeral and we missed Carol too who also could not make it. If I had known you could have easily been persuaded to come home, I would have tried to persuade you. Always know that there is a warm bed in my house for you sweetheart. xoxox Aunt Suzette