Friday June 26th 2015
I’m scared to blog.
I’ve been thinking of making my blog private. If I only allowed friends to read it, that would get rid of all the drama and stress attached to it. I know a lot of successful people write blogs and keep them open for anyone to read, but I’m not sure if that’s my thing. My blog is a journal, but it’s public and therefore anyone can see it, and not everyone is going to get it. I like writing and sharing my daily experiences. No one is censoring me. No one reads before I post. I make sure to never write where I’m living, but that’s it. I write when I’m angry, when I’m horny, when I’m depressed. I write about my hopes and dreams for my life. I write about my struggles and frustrations. If I made my blog private it would really change the dynamics of it. Just the same as anyone can come upon us in public prayformance, anyone can come upon this blog and say anything they want. I don’t have to pay attention to them, but sometimes it still effects me. I would miss getting comments from people who see us perform in public. but I wouldn’t miss the nasty, insensitive, or harassing comments from strangers I get sometimes. I want to be open, but I also want to protect myself. I’ve learned that people can be greedy, uncaring and downright predatory when they choose to. I’ve learned that those kinds of people can find me on the internet and harass me to get something they think I owe them. It’s spooked me, but I’m not doing anything wrong. I started writing in the first place to share with our friends and fans, not for ill intentioned strangers to harass me. I should be able to write whatever I want without fear, but the internet can be a dangerous place. Maybe I just need to take more care with what I post in the future.
I had a lot of fun doing my makeup. Sitting at the mirror for a few hours every day painting my face while listening to music is relaxing. The design on my forehead was really fun to create.
A couple from New Zealand was having a snack at the Fruit Bar when we arrived. Thoth helped the woman who works there translate for her. When they finished eating, the husband helped up pack up the chairs and bring them to the woman who runs the Fruit Bar. They went to find a restroom, then came and sat down to watch our prayformance. Another couple sat down next to them and watched us for a while, too. It was wonderful. The New Zealand couple left exactly when the opera was finished, and they don’t know our music. It was the best prayformance in a week or so. Audiences the entire 2 hours. We went to the Indian place again for dinner. 🙂