Tuesday November 18th 2014
I am woken to the brush of something soft on my cheek. My eyes flicker open, but the light is so bright I can only feel the presence of a being in front of me. As my eyes adjust to the light, I envision a shape. I become more and more aware. The soft feeling on my cheek is a hand. The being looks at me with such tenderness. From its back, a shimmering pair of wings spread behind them. It picks me up gently and lifts me into the air. We are flying. The view is stunning. Clouds are a frothy mixture of pink, purple and blue. There are beautiful, grassy hills and valleys and stunning cliffs with gorgeous waterfalls below us. I can see other beings flying through the air. Every color was something I had never seen before. As we fly, I become aware the the being’s eyes are always focused on me. It’s eyes have such compassion and understanding. Suddenly, I recognize who it is. It is Thoth. My husband, the love of my life. The man I’d been waiting to see again since he died all those years ago. We embrace with joy and a dazzling, glistening palace appears over the horizon, the enormous swirling spirals reaching beyond the clouds. We float through the gates into a bright, warm light and disappear.
This is what I wish to happen when I die. I’d like to hope heaven exists and I can see my loved ones again. It makes me feel hopeful when I read about life after death experiences. This life is so hard, there’s got to be something better afterwards, but how could it be? I read “Proof of Heaven” a few years ago. It’s about a neurosurgeon who went into a coma and came back, claiming he saw the afterlife. It was very vivid, and he believed it was real. My sister mentioned something to me about it that stumped me, though. “What if he hallucinated everything a second before he woke up?” The one thing I can say against that argument is that some people come back talking about events and people they would have never known about on earth. I want to believe heaven is real, but I don’t know how it’s possible for consciousness to survive beyond death. Maybe we do have a soul that keeps our consciousness going, but we could never prove it’s existence on earth. I was raised an Episcopalian and taught all the regular things about Jesus and the Bible. I have since come to know that Jesus’ real name was Yeshua. I believe he existed, but I’m not sure he was God. I do believe he was a good man who taught people to love each other and the highers up didn’t like that, so they murdered him. Human beings tend to largely ignore unique people while they’re alive, then they idolize them once they’re dead. Funny. Yeshua, Van Gogh, Bach, Poe, even Mozart didn’t have the kind of world over adulation and respect they have today. I wonder why that is. Anyway, I don’t believe God is a man with a long white beard sitting on a throne in the clouds, but I believe there is a presence of great love out there watching over us. I believe heaven is anything we can imagine it to be. I believe in fate, because I know I was destined to meet Thoth, as he was to meet me. There is no doubt in my mind. I do also believe we are in control of our fate. We are given the power to choose. I hope to be reunited with Thoth in the afterlife, because I know he will die long before I do. It will comfort me to think he is in a better place.
Do you believe in life after death?