Monthly Archives: April 2016

Being My Self Online and Everywhere

Wednesday April 27th 2016

I am a human being. I have made mistakes. I am so grateful for people who support and have compassion for my experiences. I appreciate all the people who care about what we go through. I write my blog for those people. What we go through on a daily basis is insignificant in the great scheme of things, I know that. My frustrations and irritations aren’t as important to others as they are to me. All we want is the ability to prayform and be respected for the work we do. I open myself up to getting bashed when I write about my frustrations and difficulties online. I accept that. Not everyone understands. Usually when I write fiery/ranting/angry blog posts I get a commenter (who’s never commented before) who writes, “I’m you’re fan, I’ve been watching you for years, BUT—-” and then proceeds to rip into me and my lifestyle like a truck driver running over a skunk. They usually close up by saying, “I’m not trying to hurt you.” or “This is probably what other people are thinking but don’t want to say.”

People who criticize me online don’t know what they’re talking about, nor would they be able to tell me their criticisms to my face. They don’t know me, no matter how long they’ve been following us. I don’t like when people use the stance of being a fan as an opportunity to criticize how I live. That’s not being a fan. I’m not perfect, but I don’t deserve to be torn apart for the choices I make and feelings I have. It’s comments like that that do hurt me and send me into those dark depressions that cause me to write pissed off blogs posts in the first place.
I want to make some things clear. We’re not making a living “off the backs” of anyone. No one is paying for us to travel and live and eat. We make a great living as public performers. No one knows that because we don’t talk about it.
Speaking of Thoth as having done this work for more than 25 years as something he, and thus I, shouldn’t be proud of is insulting to me. We work hard for what we have. We’ve been performing like this for 7 years. Sure I get frustrated and pissed off, but the fact I pick myself up and keep going is something I am proud of. You have to stay focused on one thing for your entire life if you want recognition, but we are always growing. It’s hard. Stage performers sing the same shows 8 times a week for years. You don’t give up and do something else just because you get frustrated. And yes, I’m allowed to get frustrated. Why wouldn’t I? The world is fucked up. Like I said, all I want is to be able to sing where I want and be appreciated. It’s not performing in public that pisses me off, it’s how I get treated by people sometimes.
We are doing more than most to achieve success. We make albums every year (we have 5 thus far,) we have tons of footage of our work online, we go out and sing for hundreds of people 4 to 5 times a week. What more can we do? Audition? Send in resumes? Play covers? Try to get a record deal? Cold call venues to put on shows for us? No thanks. We write our own operas and music, put on our own shows and make our own albums.
We don’t expect people to do things for us, nor do they. No one goes out to the park and prayforms for us. No one buys our plane tickets and flies us to foreign countries or finds us housing. No one sells CDs for us. People sometimes help us because they love us and see what good we do for the world. We have amazing friends who offer us places to stay and set up shows for us occasionally, my dad makes all our albums, and sometimes people even offer us rides to the park. I’m so grateful for that, but we take care of ourselves.
We are the change we wish to see in the world. We are out in the world challenging people’s perceptions on a daily basis. People who love us can and do make changes in our lives by being generous and kind in a million ways, just as we make changes in their lives by doing what we do. We need people’s support and love, not people trying to minimize and tear down what we’ve worked so hard to build.
We all need to be more understanding of others. Just because I’ve chosen this lifestyle doesn’t mean I can’t get angry and frustrated about it. I love my life, but it’s hard too! Again, thank you to those who understand and support us. It means more than you will ever know.

My First Voice Lesson!

Tuesday April 26th 2016

I just gave my first voice lesson, via Skype! It was fun, and challenging! I can sing with such ease, but not everyone else can. It’s an interesting process to try and convey how the voice should feel when singing. I made a video about it. Maybe that will help someone!

I’ve been asked a few times about giving voice lessons, but never felt like I was capable of teaching someone when I travel so much. I made a video about it a year ago that my mother watched. She was a professional soprano as well, and she said not only do I sing well, I know how to talk about it, too. That gave me confidence. Here is that video.

I would love to teach advanced singers about improvisation as Thoth is teaching me. Thoth always tells people who ask about lessons that he doesn’t teach beginners, but if they got to a certain level and wanted to expand, then they could contact him. It would be amazing to have a community of people who could learn the art of improvisation as we do it. It’s a unique format that would be fun to teach.

Every Day is Different! (Plus a Bunch of Vlogs)

Sunday April 24th 2016

I was in better mood today, but it was still slow in the park. We haven’t sold many CDs lately. Thankfully Forrest is helping us with rides. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully! Both he and Tasha came to the park to support us. They drove 40 minutes to the park to sit and listen to our music. Amazing when people do that. It means the world to us. They both listen so intently. We feel loved and safe when they’re there with us. It’s nice when we have support!

They took us to have sushi. What lovely friends we have.

And I made a little video thanking the people who subscribe and comment on my little part of Youtube. It really does mean so much to me guys.

We only have one more week here in San Diego! Our final week of prayformances are Thursday April 28th, Friday April 29th, Saturday April 30th and Sunday May 1st from 4-6pm in the hallway in front of Casa Del Prado. We’ll miss it here of course, but we’re ready for traveling again!

Don’t forget the debut of Tribal Baroque: Beingness this Saturday April 30th from 6-8pm at Bread and Salt here in San Diego! Click the link to go to the Facebook event page! So excited!Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 2.22.38 PMSaturday April 23rd 2016

A slow day! Not much else to say! No one understands when I write about it so there’s no reason to. I just wish people would be more generous. That’s all. At least I have a sweet hubby-kins.

Feeling Great!

Friday April 22nd 2016

We had another great day. When it’s good it’s great, right? Sergent Morlaes stopped by to listen to our music and asked if we’d play for a little event in the park next Saturday. We were flattered. Never before have I experienced police liking us. The police in Central Park used to know and love Thoth.

God that baby?! “Bye!” I died! So cute!

This Is What a Good Day Feels Like (+ Vlogs)

Thursday April 21st 2016Screen Shot 2016-04-21 at 9.50.29 PMToday was great. Barbarella and David dropped by to give us cards for the premiere of Tribal Baroque: Beingness next Saturday. I’m so fucking excited about it! Barb loved my makeup.

We got an Uber to the park, thanks to our friend Forrest. He’ll be sponsoring this weeks prayformances in Balboa Park, and my father will be sponsoring next weeks. What gentleman they are! Truly. We felt refreshed when we arrived in the park, instead of feeling exhausted and hot from biking 5 miles. What a treat, a blessing and a relief. Just what the doctor ordered!

We had a lovely time talking to people and playing. A man named Blue stumbled upon us and said the most wonderful things about our music, most of which I didn’t get on film. “You guys are where music is going.” he said. Amazing words. We needed that. He said some things we’ve never heard people say before. He really got it, and he’d never seen us previously.

We had a little trouble getting an Uber home, but it all worked out in the end. We stopped at the store to get a chicken and called Sarah K. She had some good news, but nothing’s written in stone. It made us feel good, though. “You’re always on my mind.” she said. That’s wonderful to know.

I love when we get home from prayformance. I can eat, relax and I feel utterly content and happy. Nothing can compare with that. I’m only happy on our days off when I’m inspired.

I find it’s when I’m feeling the most antsy and frustrated is when things start happening for us. Sometimes it seems my dreams are stuck in deep mud, and other times my dreams seem to be just within in reach.