Monthly Archives: July 2015

The Sound of Loud Applause, Finally!

Thursday July 30th 2015

I had trouble doing my makeup today and was feeling unexcited about playing. The last two weeks were so bad it sucked a lot of energy out of me. IMG_20150730_200825604 I was able to get my makeup to an acceptable place. IMG_20150730_204042081 IMG_20150730_204130793As we got ready to play, a young woman, Fatima, and her friend came to watch us. She reminded me who she was. “You wrote to me and told me you were here.” she said. They sat down and waited for us to start. IMG_20150730_204241267 When people sit down and wait, I know we’re going to have a good night. IMG_20150730_204620137 The moment we turned our little spotlight on, people began to stop in the street to see what we’d do. Led in no small part by Fatima and her friend, audiences clapped loudly and enthusiastically the entire prayformance. We played the opera and for the first time in 2 weeks, it felt amazing to play. We were sweating buckets after the first two songs. Everything felt really solid. I act more when we have an audience. When nights like this happen, I am sure of our success at Martha’s Vineyard in September. It makes me imagine how people will be so focused and attentive and cheer for us like they did last year. I’m looking forward to it. Lots of people sat down in the entrance of the parking garage. When one person sits down, it encourages others to sit too. I can’t tell you how much it helps us when people sit down. Sitting shows commitment. To have a bunch of people sitting near us and everyone else gathered around behind them feels like a real prayformance. I find the most joy when fans come with the intention to see us and stay with us for a long time. It means that they care about what we’re doing. IMG_20150730_221837399 IMG_20150730_221841559 When we finished, an audience member bought both of our albums. She had sat and stayed for a long time. We packed up and another person who had been watching our show gave us compliments. “You are classically trained?” he asked. ‘Yes.” we said. “You act well, too.” he said. I like when people say that.IMG_20150730_224032606 We were very happy. The sound of that loud applause gladdened my heart. I was so grateful. Things DO get better! IMG_20150730_224214172

How I Am Able to Do What I Do

My twin sister helping me get ready for filming in Central Park. Photo by Dan Rubin.

Hello lovely friends, fans and curious readers. I have something I want to say. 

I don’t have a perfect life. I don’t live a carefree existence. 

In many ways I am just like anyone else. 

But I am free and usually quite happy. 

The difference I find between myself and those who aren’t living a free, independent lifestyle is this:

I don’t let fear control my life. – I’m not saying I’m never afraid, but it doesn’t dictate my decisions in life. Of course I have moments of overwhelming fear and dread, but spontaneity, excitement, hope, trust, faith and love are my main influences. I don’t let what could happen in the future control the decisions I make now. I do what inspires me, knowing that in the future all I will feel is regret if I don’t. 

I believe I can do things that may seem impossible. – There have been many times in the past 6 years I didn’t think I could do something. Writing an opera was one of those things, but I have faith that the skills I have learned will make the impossible possible for me. 

I don’t give up when things get hard.This is an important lesson I’ve learned. Being who I want to be takes courage in the face of overwhelming odds and adversity. There have been times I’ve thought I couldn’t take life’s disappointments anymore. However, even in those moments of despair, there is a passionate commitment inside me that no amount hopelessness could destroy. 

I don’t rely on others to give me the things I want. – I used to think that all I had to do was be talented and everything would be laid out in front me. I have since learned that it takes commitment and effort to make my dreams come to fruition. 

I surround myself with people who believe in me. – Instead of steeping myself in the worries and fears of others, I keep company with those who have faith that I am beautiful, talented and capable of doing whatever I want. 

I don’t follow trends, I follow my own desires. – I have never done anything because other people do it. I am passionate about things because of my own understanding of what I like, not because someone told me to like them. This makes me who I am. 

I have a strong sense of who I am. – This by far is the most important thing that makes me fiercely independent and strong minded. I know who I am. I embrace myself fully. I am not easily swayed from my purposes and passions. I am stubborn and narrow minded and obsessive and needy and overly enthusiastic. I take pride in what I have accomplished and who I am. I don’t make excuses for myself or take no for an answer. I am Lila’Angelique!

I want those who read this to know, anyone can live a free and independent life.

It’s my gumption and commitment to this lifestyle that makes it work. I don’t have everything I want yet, but I throw myself into my desires with all the passion and fearlessness of a child. I strongly believe that slowly, painstakingly building my life from the ground up is the only way to find true happiness now and have no regrets in the future.

An Extra Day Off

Wednesday July 30th 2015

IMG_20150729_205132749In the afternoon I went to the shopping mall down the street to buy more eye shadow compacts.

I went into few of the big churches on the way home. The statue of Mary in one of them was very pretty. I like the pastel colors she’s wearing. I’m not religious, but I love beautiful churches. I would love for us to be invite to perform in churches. 
IMG_20150729_164835408 Here’s all my eye shadows. I can’t wait to use them tomorrow night! IMG_20150729_171438199 We hung out in the apartment, then got dressed to go out for pizza. I like taking Wednesday’s off. IMG_20150729_222444 IMG_20150729_222657895 Thoth is so cute. IMG_20150729_225313774 IMG_20150729_225316089Yummy!
IMG_20150729_231733 IMG_20150729_225639536 Barrio Alto at night. IMG_20150729_232405824 A view of the bridge. IMG_20150729_233051660 Thoth being silly again. IMG_20150729_233230961Goodnight.

Discovering Something New On Our Day Off!

Tuesday July 28th 2015

Last night I got an email from James telling me there would be a more convenient time for us to come to London and see him perform in the future. It calmed me down. Why do I have no patience?

Thoth got in bed and lay with me for a long time when I woke up. I didn’t want to get up. “The internet isn’t working again.” he said when I did. I was irritated about it all day and had no appetite for lunch. I sulked about the house most of the day.

To cheer myself up, I dyed my hair again. I like how it turned out. IMG_20150728_171337231 IMG_20150728_171419186As we walked downstairs to leave, Farid and his mother stopped us. He gave us this longwinded explanation as to why nothing works in the apartment. I glared at him the entire time. His mother gave us the password for the first floors internet. Hopefully that will work.

We took the train to Cascais and walked out to find the Brasserie for dinner. IMG_20150728_185942 IMG_20150728_190005077 IMG_20150728_190053 IMG_20150728_190059611 Despite that Thoth didn’t know exactly where it was, he found it. We decided to make reservations and look around for an hour or so.IMG_20150728_191858932 IMG_20150728_191903423 IMG_20150728_191920247 We saw this beautiful little cove, so we walked down and explored. It was low tide so I could walk in the water. IMG_20150728_192736921 IMG_20150728_192833005 IMG_20150728_192909236 IMG_20150728_194740743 IMG_20150728_194748169 IMG_20150728_194829525 IMG_20150728_194907679 IMG_20150728_194923049 IMG_20150728_195218653 IMG_20150728_195241169 We walked back to the Brasserie and had yummy salmon salad, tender steak and crunchy french fries. Mmmm! Such a nice, romantic meal!IMG_20150728_203728 IMG_20150728_203743228 We walked back to the train as the sun was setting…IMG_20150728_210216794…I was digging my new blue and pink hued hair…IMG_20150728_210952173 IMG_20150728_210957202 …took the train home and got some ice cream at Santini for dessert. What a lovely night out!IMG_20150728_222656917When we got home, we tried the new internet password, and it worked! Yay.