Monthly Archives: December 2014

Thoth’s Family Visits!

Monday December 29th 2014

I got really excited this morning when it seemed we were going to TWO New Year’s Eve parties (I’m writing this the next day and it didn’t work out.) We ARE going to Scott Levkoff’s low key invite only party in SF to play. I’m excited. It’s been years since we were invited to play at a NYE party. So, yeah. That happened. Maybe we’ll do the other party next year.

Thoth’s family (which is now mine also) arrived at 1pm to visit. Cheryl (Thoth’s sister) Cheryl’s daughters Grace and Hyacinth and Hyacinth’s two boys Zach and Ben came. We talked about Thoth’s mom, ate and then played a fun game. They’re so sweet and have completely embraced me as part of the family. That feels so good. Cheryl said she loves reading my blog. I love when people say that. Hyacinth calls me Lilabug. 🙂 She loves me. I love my new family.

Hyacinth and me.

Hyacinth and me (taken by Cheryl.)

I was working on a drawing all day, but I still don’t like how it looks. Grace showed me some of her drawings. She’s a great artist. Around 5, everyone went home and Nana took us to the sauna in Piedmont for our hot tub. She gave us a gift certificate to go there for Christmas. I was a limp noodle when we finished. Nana picked us up and took us home, then went out dancing. I wrote to Chris and Khalil to see if we’re still having dinner tomorrow night. We planned to meet at Plearn for dinner. Nana will come, too. Thoth is going with Nana to get a massage tomorrow, which she also gave him as a Christmas gift. She’s so sweet. I drew and watched Titus into the evening. What a nice day! NYE in 2 days!

Surprise Visit from our drummer friend Michael!

Sunday December 28th 2014

Michael and Thoth.

“Michael called this morning. He wanted to pick us up to go dancing, but you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.” Thoth said. Damn! “I didn’t want to go anyway,” Thoth said. “He said he might come over later.” We took our our bikes and went next door to pump the tires with air. Low and behold, guess who drove up? Michael! I ran over to hug him. Once we filled up the tires, we biked back to the house and he drove into the driveway. He got out his tools and went into the bathroom upstairs to fix Nana’s dripping faucet. It’s interesting to watch him work with tools. He fixed it, then they went out back to put lubricant on the bicycle chains. Michael looked up at me. “You are so pretty.” he said simply. I put my hand to my mouth. “Thank you Michael,” he said. “You caught me on an “off” day.” I said. “Well, if I caught you on an “on” day I’d be in trouble.” he said. Michael says sweet things like that.


Once we finished, Michael said, “Have you eaten lunch yet?” he said. “No.” I said. “Can I take you both out to lunch?” he said. “That sounds fine to me.” I said. “Is that ok with you?” I said to Thoth. I showed him my new drawings and then showed him a rough from the new album. He listened while we put on our shoes. He loved it. We drove to sushi in Piedmont. We’ve been there 3 times this month. It’s that good. Michael said his daughter Chiara loves sushi. “She inhales it.” he said. We talked about the album and our desire to stage it with him. “We’re so excited.” we said over and over.

After dinner, we drove back to Nana’s house and talked for a long time in his truck. We always get into stuff about spirituality. “I believe that we were put on this earth as a test. We were given these physical bodies with an invisible soul inside. Despite that we are given physicality and that our society places a high value on physical wealth, we have to learn that it is our spiritual wealth that is important. That’s how Yeshua was. He taught people it’s not about what you have physically, but what you have inside that counts. That’s how Thoth lives. He doesn’t have a lot of physical possessions. He is building up his spirit. That’s the only thing that’s left when we die. Everything else is dust. All this stuff, our houses, our cars, everything will disappear. Then we will see who we truly are. Our task on earth is to realize it’s the invisible spirit that is real and valuable and everything else is false.” I said. Michael liked that. “You’re very old.” Thoth said. Being with Michael and Thoth brings out a lot of deep thoughts in me. I love it. It’s very stimulating. I kissed Michael on the cheek. He looked strongly at Thoth. “What does that mean?” I asked. “She is so open and honest and loving.” he said. “When I love someone, I just love them.” I said. We got out of the car and he kissed us both and we waved goodbye. What a sweet, sweet man. I love spending time with him. He’s one of our best friends. We only see him once a year, yet we’re as close as can be. I’m so happy he is in our life. Thoth has introduced me to some very special people. I love when he surprises us.

James Swanton.

I drew the rest of the evening. I think we’re going to our friend Scott Levkoff’s NYE party at the Great Star Theatre in SF. That will be fun. I listened to Rigoletto with Sheryl Milnes while writing and watched a bit of Titus by Julie Taymor. I am so inspired. We’re leaving for San Diego on January 1st.

More Drawing!

Saturday December 27th 2014

I wrote to James last night to see if filming was allowed at his show. He wrote back this morning basically saying it’s out of his hands and would definitely not be allowed. That made me sad. He DID say there has been talk of bringing the show to New York, so that made me feel better. If it’s not allowed, I don’t understand how people make all the Youtube bootlegs of Broadway shows without being caught. James needs a proper video recording of his work. What if when he came to New York, we got together some people to film him in a studio, like Sal? What if I wrote a Phantom play for him that we could film him performing? What if Thoth and I had a show he could be a part of? God, I just want to see him perform! Why does it have to be so hard? I understand that filming and photo taking in performance is distracting. It sometimes drives me crazy when people film us in public then walk away without giving back. In one way it’s good though that anyone can film us. It makes it possible to share our music with others who wouldn’t be able to see us otherwise. One of our biggest fans in the UK has never seen us live. Instead, she and her family watch our videos on Youtube, and they get such joy out of it. The only existing videos of James on Youtube are 7 years old. I would love to give him the gift of a good video of himself performing. His fans future and present would appreciate it too, just as our fans will appreciate our film when it comes out. It’s always good to have high quality footage of what one does in terms of performance. I understand theaters don’t like people who make second rate recordings of their shows. It doesn’t show it in the best light. Most of the videos of us online don’t present us in the best light either, but at least it’s something. I would give anything to have even a really bad recording of James performing.  At least it would be something. It will be years and years before he’s well known enough to be on film. I spent the rest of the day drawing James.

Drawing Again

Friday December 26th 2014

So this morning I was very seriously thinking of flying to London to see James in his show today. Really. I looked at flights online. Damn, why didn’t I think of it sooner! I thought it over for about an hour, then realized how nuts it would be to spend so much money and travel so far for just a few days. That’s how much I love James’ acting though. I wrote to my friend to see if she’d be willing to go and see it for me if I bought her a ticket. I drew the rest of the day. Yay hurray for art making! It makes me feel so good to create!

I am so inspired. There are so many things I want to create. When I’m being creative I feel like there isn’t enough time in the day. There isn’t enough time in my life to create everything in my head. I wish I could just draw and sing and dance and be creative all the time. I believe it is possible to be creative all my life. Who know how much more art is inside me. I feel like I am a well of unlimited ideas right now. I don’t know how many of them will exist outside my head, but I want them to. I feel so good when I create something. I can’t believe we created an opera. Who knows where it will go. It’s so exciting. By the end of 2015 we will have another opera written, and who knows what else will happen. We’re going to make a teaser for our new album so everyone can get a taste of it when it’s finished. I got all the cuts done today. Now we have to send it to dad to master.

Inspiring People!

Thursday December 25th 2014

So today I was really excited about staging our Esh and Ee-ay opera. Thoth and I talked about it all morning. He’s excited about it, too. We talked about doing a theatre performance years ago, but we didn’t have any music or storyline. Now we do. “Babe said we should do it as soon as possible.” Thoth said. “Why?” I asked. “Because it’s fresh in our minds.” he said. “I don’t even know where to start!” I said. I met a girl named Lula Applebruise at Whobilation who would be a perfect Ee-ay character. That got me very excited. We started exchanging ideas. I’d love to do it in a unusual way, since our work is in and of itself unusual. Thoth played in a show many years ago with Michael, his drummer. Thoth stood up on a pedestal and Michael came out and drummed him into motion, then they brought the audience into the theatre, played really fast, finished and ran offstage, then the show began. I want our show to have audience interaction and always surprise people, like it does in public. I would love to bring the show out in public to promote it. We’d have 4 musicians (Thoth, me, Michael and Rhan) 4 actor/performers to play the characters, and a small ensemble cast. We’d need a lighting designer, a set designer, a sound designer and someone to film the show with good equipment. We’d have to rent a theatre space. I even thought of doing it in a church. Theaters usually don’t have good acoustics. I think we should do it in the Bay Area.

I found Lula’s blog and looked at her pictures. Wow.
She has a very similar style to mine. I love her long pink hair. That’s how I want my hair to be someday. Her blog inspired me. I want my blog to be more fantastical and inspiring. I found another blog that was very inspiring called Macy Marie. She is friends with Lula.
I wrote to Lula to see if she would send me the picture she took of us at Whobilation. She actually posted on Facebook and said some nice things about me. It made my day. 🙂

“The Stars were aligned for me To meet my ghosty pink twin soul sister, Lila Angelique at Whobiliation. You were the highlight of the evening and I could just spookily stare at you forever!”

I have a desire for friends who are similar to me. I know there are other people out there who like pink, dressing up and being creative as much as I do. I wrote back to see if she would be interested in being in our opera. She is. Isn’t she adorable? She’s an aerialist and contortionist, she’s my height and she has pink hair. My Ee-ay character is a small fairy with long pink hair. How much more perfect could it be? I hope we can make it happen!

I randomly saw some pictures of my friend James Swanton by Chrystal Ding on Facebook. In-fucking-credible. He looks positively ghoulish!

How is it this man can be so… well just LOOK at him! So pensive and dark and intense and… He’s only 23! 3 YEARS YONGER THAN ME! I find him quite beautiful. It made me start fantasizing about flying to London for a few days just to see him in Sykes and Nancy. That would be nuts, wouldn’t it? There’s just something so utterly mesmerizing about him. The long, bony frame, the dark eyes, the high cheekbones, the broad shoulders, and he’s so tall! It makes me want to draw him again. And his voice! Don’t get me started. I wish I had recorded him speaking in “In the Penal Colony.” It’s like he was born to play all those wonderfully grotesque characters he loves playing. It makes me want to write a play for him about Phantom. I’ve always wanted to do it. I just know he’s destined for an incredible career. Why is it I know this person, yet he is so impossibly far away from me? I think I will always be watching his career blossom from afar. I wish I could go to every performance he’s ever done. Whenever he’s in a show, I talk about flying to the UK to see him. I must be out of my mind. But JUST LOOK AT HIM! Mesmerizing. I know this isn’t how he is in real life, but this is all I see of him, the actor side. I don’t see him at home with his family or friends. I only see and hear him in character. I know he’s not a morose person. He’s probably quite funny, but this is all I know of him. It’s like my obsession with Michael Crawford in the past. I knew Michael wasn’t a dark, intense figure running around with a mask on (he played the original Phantom fyi) but for the longest time I couldn’t see him any other way. Now I know through interviews and the like he is the most wonderfully funny and slightly awkward person. Isn’t that odd how performers are on stage vs. in private? I for example am not this fantastically graceful, angelic creature at home. I’m just me. I change in public. In performance I am as magical as can be. Most people only know me in that way. Others are surprised to discover just how normal I really am. Well, I’m not necessarily THAT normal. I am an artist. It’s almost like performance gives performers the permission to be our most intense, magical selves. At times I wish I was more like James’ characters, but I’m a girl. He is so lucky to be a man and have the perfect voice and body for these grotesque characters. I think I am destined to be a pink haired fairy lady, but I will always love the grotesque.