Monthly Archives: April 2014

Cold Feet

Wednesday April 30th 2014

Last night I worried about a lot of things. I felt overwhelmed by all the stuff we need to do to get ready for the wedding. I also worried that I’ll have to pay if Thoth went to the hospital or died, since the spouse is responsible for those things. I told Thoth about my fears. “That’s odd, Young Lady.” he said. “You were the one who wanted to get legally married and it seems you don’t know what that means. Do you want to just have a ceremony, but not sign anything?” he said. “I want to be legally married to you. I need to research it more.” I said. “Yes, I think you should.” Thoth said. I got on my computer and looked up “legal responsibilities of spouse.” You are not legally required to pay for you’re spouses funeral, but you should take some of the financial burden, along with other family members.

Thoth went on his bike to the Brazilian Consulate in San Francisco. My sister came over and we talked about it. “Thoth doesn’t want to go to the hospital if he got sick. His goal is to prayform himself to death. I wouldn’t want to go to the hospital, either. If we’re not legally married, I would have no say in how he was treated medically.” I said. “I don’t like that idea for you, sissy. I would do anything I could to keep you alive.” she said. After I wrote my blog, sis and I drove to Plearn for lunch and I talked to them about catering our wedding. “It’s $12 per head,” the manager said giving me his card. “Call me a few days ahead of the wedding.” I got some stuffed chicken wings for Thoth. Sis and I went to Trader Joe’s next door and went shopping. I tried calling Thoth to see what he wanted, but he didn’t pick up the phone. When we finished shopping, sis went to get the car. A homeless man was sitting outside in his wheel chair. “You’re twins, aren’t you?” he asked. “Yes.” I said. “You’ll say yes to anything I say so I’ll stay away from you. Come over here. I won’t bite.” he said. He showed me a newspaper that he was selling for $1. I got some money from sis and gave it to him. “Stop being so friendly sis, lets go.” sis said. She took me to her apartment and put her groceries in the fridge. Her boss called needing her to work tonight. She took me home. “I’ll be back at 10pm.” she said.

Thoth was there when I got back. “I realized that do want to get married.” I gave him his lunch and we took a nap together. I was so tired I couldn’t get up. Sis came over after work. “I got cold feet, sis.” I told her. “Why?” she asked. “I was worrying about paying Thoth’s medical bills and funeral expenses.” I said. “It hurt my feelings.” Thoth said. “I’m sorry, Bunny.” I said. “It affected me all day.” he said. “Are you still sad?” I asked. “No.” he said. My stomach felt really bloated and uncomfortable. Sis went home and I got into bed. “My food isn’t digesting. It feels like I have a brick in my stomach.” I said. I took some sleeping pills and we went to bed.

Travel Day

Tuesday April 29th 2014

I woke up several times this morning wondering if I should get up yet. My sister came in at 10am. “It’s time to go, sissy.” she said gently. I was exhausted. Thoth was packing up the groceries. He made some sandwiches for the road. When everything was packed in the car, he started assembling the bike rack. It took a lot longer than we thought. First he had it upside down, then it was in the wrong position. When he finally attached it to the trunk, we realized our bikes have to middle bar to hang them on the rack. Thoth was able to put them on sideways and they fit. Whew! For a moment I didn’t think we’d be leaving today! We drove to Ego ID and said goodbye to Jim, filled the car with gas, and got on the road by 1pm.

Thoth drove the first 3 hours while sis napped. Thoth and I talked about our travels. We’re hopeful about Edinburgh. If it’s good for us financially, we’ll go there again. We take risks, then we save money, then we take risks, then we save money. Risk and save, risk and save. We’re always investing in prayformance. I think our way of traveling is much more admirable then celebrities’s way of traveling. We pay for everything ourselves, celebrities have everything paid for them by their tour and by sponsors. Our way takes much more discipline. We’re taking a quite a risk going to Edinburgh. We have no idea what will happen, and we are responsible if things go wrong. It’s scary, but it would be boring if life had no question marks.

We took a break after the Grapevine and got some snacks. Sissy was standing in line at Taco Bell with all these big men around her. “You look so small!” I said. People in truck stops always looks so haggard and gruff. I got a smoothie drink and some sunflower seeds. “Are you surprised seeing your sister eat so healthy now?” Thoth asks sis. “Not anymore.” she said. Sis took the wheel for the rest of the way. I gave Bunny a sweet kiss. “I’m so envious of your relationship,” sissy said. “I want a boy of my own!” “You’ll have one in due time.” I said. “No, I want one now!” she said. “It’s funny. I lived for 20 years without Thoth and I didn’t know what I was missing. Now that I have him, I can’t imagine life without him.” I said. “You were alone for a while in college, though.” she said. “Only two years. You’ve been alone for the past 7 years.” I said. “Our roles may be reversed one day when Thoth dies. You’ll be alone and I’ll be with someone. But you can be with me.” she said.

We got to Nancee’s house in Oakland at 9 pm. She wasn’t home yet. I went around back and found the key. Thoth got the bike rack off the trunk and sis helped us get everything inside the house. Nancee came home. “Can sissy spend the night?” I asked. “No. It’s because of the cat.” she said. I hugged sissy goodbye and she went home. I had a BBQ Chicken Salad for dinner, which Nancee got me at Trader Joe’s. She and Thoth sat on the couch drinking wine and talking. Her cat Pookie is sick so she’d very preoccupied with her. She was going to put her down on Monday, but Pookie started perking up so she decided not to do it just yet. “I’m not ready. It’ll be within a week, though. She can’t go on much longer like this.” she said.

Thoth an I were so delirious we had to go to bed. I looked up the Brazilian Consulate and where to get a marriage license in San Francisco. Thoth has to go to the consulate tomorrow to get a Power of Attorney who will get us our work visas for the Red Bull Sounderground Festival in Rio. Nancee’s bed is my favorite bed to sleep in. Once you lie down, it’s had to get up again.

Packing Day

Monday April 28th 2014

Thoth wasn’t home when I got up. He was out getting the bike rack so we can take our bikes back with us to Oakland tomorrow. I biked to Ego ID and Alex printed my drawing on some sturdy paper and printed out our Lodger’s Agreement. Thoth was home when I got back. We signed the Lodger’s Agreement and started packing. He gets stressed when we pack so he was a bit snappy. When finished, we packed the car as much as we could and Forrest called. We met him at King’s Fish House for dinner. After eating, we sat and talked for a while. “Forrest has paid for our dinner.” Thoth said when I came back from the restroom. I gave Forrest a kiss. “I want to pay you to eat.” he said. “I had the most amazing experience on Saturday night. When you came towards me and were singing, I could feel your sound come at me, almost like wave forms. It was incredible.” he said. “Wow. What an amazing reflection.” I said. We went out to the parking lot and said goodbye. I hugged him again and thanked him. “I’m glad I’ll see you in a few weeks for the wedding.” he said. We drove home and I wrote and listened to music before going to bed.


Earth Day

Sunday April 27th 2014

Sis and I drove to the store to get a few things this morning. We forgot frozen fruit so she went back to the store while I went home and got ready to prayform. “It’s Earth Day so we need to bike. It’s going to be crazy in the park. ” I said. Once ready, we all left. There was traffic at least a mile before we got there. “Yay!” we said. It was going to be very busy. There was a drum circle playing at the other side of the Conservatory of Flowers. Les came and put a good luck tip in our case. “May it multiply by 4 digits.” he said. A man came before we started and bought both our CDs. “I hear you’re going to Edinburgh. I needed to see you before you left.” he said. Bill came, so did Forrest. I was very happy to see them and hugged them. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, Thoth said, “Someone’s complained about us.” “Why?” I asked. “A woman was standing at the case looking sad. I thought she was wondering if we were finished, so I said hello. ‘How long are you playing?’ she asked. ‘Two hours’ I said. ‘Two hours? Oh. Last year you were so loud we couldn’t talk to people.’ she said. ‘I’m sorry.’ I said to her.” Thoth said. We started and a huge crowd gathered. At the end of “Gypsy Dance,” a big black man started walking right towards us from behind. I was sure he was a security guard and was going to stop us, but he walked right past. “That was scary.” I said. Mel and her girlfriend came later, so did Autumn and her family. I hugged both of them. By the end, a bunch of people were sitting watching us, including lots of children. I love our final prayformance. Everyone comes to say goodbye. When we finished, people came and hugged us goodbye. Forrest had to run because he was going to dinner and a show. We’re having a farewell dinner with him tomorrow night. Bill squeezed me very tight. “Don’t cry. We’ll be back next year.” I said. A young man with Steampunk goggles waited patiently to give us a gift. We packed up and biked home with sissy. A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence rode her bike past us with a gay flag trailing behind her. We got some oat cakes at Senior Mangos as a treat. I’d been wanting one all week. We went home and changed clothes, then tried driving to Jersey Mikes, but we got turned around. I got car sick so sis drove me home and Thoth and she went back out. I got in the shower and they called me asking if I wanted a sandwich. “No, I’m going to make salmon sandwiches instead.” I made dinner and Thoth and sis came home. We got on our computers and then went to bed later.

Adams Avenue Unplugged

Saturday April 26th 2014

Once everyone was up and ready, we all biked to Discount Fabrics to see if we can play there this evening. Despite that it was Adams Avenue Unplugged today, there weren’t tons of people on the avenue. “The threat of rain was keeping people away. It was much different last year.” I said. We asked a guy at Lestat’s for help. “Someone put on a bunch of acts there last year without permission and the Business Association got pissed at us.” he said snarling. “JP will say you can play there but it doesn’t matter. You have to ask the Business Association.” We biked around looking for it place. I felt sad. Why did he have to be so unfriendly? Did we do something to upset him? After asking a few people, we finally find the place and Thoth went in and asked if we can play at the fabric store. He came out again. “What’d they say?” I asked him. “It’s fine.” he said. We went back to Discount Fabrics. JP was standing outside. “What time do you close?” I asked him. “6.” he said. “We’ll come back at 5:45.” Thoth said. “Just so you know, I’ll kick you out exactly at 6.” JP said. “No, we want to perform here.” I said. “Oh,” he said. “Well, you’re welcome.” he said. Thoth went to Java Joe’s to see what’s going on. My tire was low so I had to bike home. Thoth came home and put air in my tire and we took a nap. The ringing in my ears has made it hard for me to fall asleep the past few nights. Sissy went to get lunch.  After our nap, I put on my makeup and we got ready to prayform.

Thoth and I biked to Discount Fabrics. “It’s not going to be the same as last year.” Thoth said. “I’m not expecting anything.” I said. JP was about to close up as we arrived. “Some other guys played here and I made them leave at 5:30.” he said. “That’s sweet!” I said. I asked him  for a broom to sweep things up before we started. A huge crowd of people blocked the sidewalk as waiting for us to get ready. It wasn’t like last year, but it was lovely none the less. We played more then we had planned to. The floor is slanted so I almost slipped a few times. After Thoth did his solo, a drunk man started talking while we got ready for “Sea Expressions.” I really wanted to say, “Shut the fuck up, man.” but I knew he’d probably say. “I can say whatever the fuck I want to say!” A woman came up to us crying when we finished. She had just randomly come across us and stayed the entire time. “I wondered if you saw me.” she said. “I did. I’m very aware of people.”

We biked to Java Joe’s. I didn’t have any water so I biked home and got sissy. She was sad. Becca texted me. “I’m almost there.” she said. We biked back to Java Joe’s and she was there. Thoth and I got ready to play and talked with Becca and her boyfriend. A woman named Brown Sugar introduced our set at 9 o’clock. “You are about to have your minds blown.” she said. There must of been 100 people packed in there. When we went onstage, I immediately realized I had the wrong bow. It was covered in wax. I ran backstage to try and get the right one, but my violin case was unreachable. “Oh well.” I thought. I ran back onstage and we spun the spirit catchers. It was dead silent. It was really had to play because the bow could barely make any sound. My bells on my left foot started falling off, too! Plus my voice was so tired from singing earlier it was even hard to sing. The fact that there were 100 bodies packed in the room made the space dead acoustically. It was hard. I could barely sing, play violin or stomp my bells but I got through it without anyone noticing. A bunch of people sat around and talked to us afterwards. Sissy sat on the stage with me, so did Becca. My voice was really tired. We packed up. “We’ll never play here again.” I said. We biked home, ate dinner and went to bed. I was so exhausted.