Category Archives: My Relationship with Thoth

The Documentary is Here For You to Watch!

Thursday May 5th 2016

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The documentary we’ve been waiting for 7 years to be made about us has finally been released by The Artist Odyssey! 7 YEARS of hard work, dedication, perseverance, stubbornness, passion, commitment to Tribal Baroque and to each other. It DOES pay off. It DOES mean something!

I blasted it out by email to everyone I could think of and tagged everyone I could think of on Facebook. Such positive response from everyone! People love it. I’m excited to see what some of my old teachers and friends think. I’m so f*ing proud of this documentary! It’s beautiful.

The past few days have been crazy, but I feel much more settled now that we’re at our friend John’s house in SF. It’s very welcoming here, and we have the whole upstairs to ourselves. We’ll be here until we leave for Lisbon on the 17th. It feels wonderful being with good friends who love us and care about us. It melts our fears and concerns away, of which we have many. I’m not really looking forward to the Lisbon trip. I’m dreading it actually! Really early flight out, all day to NYC, 5 hour layover, then all night to Lisbon, then we have to keep ourselves awake all day so we can adjust in Lisbon. I probably won’t sleep the night before the trip either, so I’ll be sleep deprived. We’ll survive.

People who aren’t me or Thoth see our life as this magical world of travel and success. It’s not all fun and games, but it’s good to have a perspective and see that it is an amazing life we lead and it is amazing we can do it how we do it. Sometimes I get pulled into how overwhelmingly scary and uncertain it can be, but things like this documentary would have never happened if we didn’t live the way we do.

Just the other night, I was wondering how we could emotionally, physically and psychotically cope with continuous traveling in the future. That’s because the drive to and adjustment to a new place was a particularly draining this time around. We felt more upended than usual, even though Tasha came with us. It was really helpful to have her with us all day yesterday and on our trip. Seeing my sister today and yesterday helped, too.

The feeling of being in a routine for a few months and then being completely uprooted, and then settling down again is draining. We’re in one place for long enough (2-4 months) we get used to it, especially in New York or Lisbon or San Diego, and then we have to pack up everything we own and move somewhere else. When we’re settled, I fool myself into thinking we have a home, but when we have to pack up and go, I realize we have no home. That’s what we’ve chosen, and that’s the only way I can see us living a life like this. I can’t really fathom living somewhere all year round and never leaving. Even living in New York for 7 months a few years back was too much for us. We go nuts when we’re in one place for too long. We have to be uncomfortable for short periods of time to be comfortable in the long run.

We have wonderful friends, though. I am so grateful for that!

Tribal Baroque 5 Year Anniversary!

Photo by Dan Rubin.

Photo by Dan Rubin.

Monday November 17th 2014

Thoth woke me up at 10 to go to “Interstellar” at 11. “Happy anniversary. This day is as important to me as the day we got married.” he said.

It was this day 5 years ago we left everything behind to create a new life together. It was this day 5 years ago we got on a plane and flew to Europe. It was one of the most terrifying, exhilarating days of our lives. How the f*$k did we do it? Hardly anyone, accept maybe Dan, believed in us. He just sent us a happy anniversary card. He’s the only one who knows. We went to hell and back and we’re now married! We’ve traveled and prayformed in Europe, North America, Africa and South America. More people know about our work than ever before. People recognize us on the streets of New York, and all over the world. I used to dream of that. Our love is like a mighty rock that has stood the test of hundreds of small and large avalanches, landslides and hurricanes. I think we were tested the most the first year in order to see what we were made of. We’ve been trapped in foreign countries with no money, we’ve been homeless on three different nights, I almost drowned once, Thoth bashed his head in a pool, we’ve gone hungry, been duped by landlords, gotten arrested twice, gotten our instruments stollen by police, been harassed by security guards, been yelled at by strangers, felt hopeless, and almost gave up a few times…


On the train ride to see “Interstellar,” I listened to my mom’s song “Try to be True” and “The Power and Glory.” It made me cry. My mother used to be so full of hope. I feel bad for her. We got to the movie, and it was wonderful. Very complex, yet very emotional. When it was over, Thoth fell in my arms and sobbed. “Baby! What’s wrong!?” I said comforting him. He couldn’t explain his emotion. It was an emotional film. We left the movie theatre and it was pouring rain. We went to the subway and took it to Williamsburg. We picked up some sandwiches at a fancy grocery store and went home. My mom called and we talked for a while. She sounded good. I was so tired, so I rested until dinner time.

Thoth woke me up from my little nap and we went to a sweet French bristo down the street for our anniversary dinner. It was so lovely. The hostess was pleased we’d come to their restaurant for such a special occasion. The food was delicious, as always, and we got a snuggly table in the corner. How wonderful! I can’t believe how much we’ve been through to get to this day!

Thank you my sweet hubby for being there for me through everything. Thank you for helping me to learn respect, compassion and humbleness. Thank you for loving me despite all my flaws. Thank you for letting me sing with you every day. I love you more than anything. I will love you and be your little wifey for as long as you live. I love all your laughs. I love all the little cute things you do with me. I love how much you love me. It’s a beautiful feeling. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for constantly inspiring me and making me laugh. Thank you for being there for me in my darkest moments. Thank you for traveling the world with me and making me feel safe to be myself. Thank you for teaching me by exemplifying constant commitment to your work and humbleness in your daily life. Thank you for being my hero. Thank you for inspiring me to be creative all the time. Thank you for creating with me and playing with me. Thank you thank you thank you!


Thursday August 21st 2014

by Dan Rubin

Photo by Dan Rubin NYC 2013

He responds to Bunny, my pet name for him.
He makes a cute little face when he’s being sarcastic. We call it Bunny Face.
He calls me Muffin, Dollie, sweetie, Sveetie Boompie, and Young Lady.
He has a stuffed animal named Bibi.
Every night, he jumps in bed and plays with the Babes (two small stuffed animals we travel with named Bunny and Bibi.)
He makes Bibi hump my face and Bunny squirm over me.
He snuggles with me every night and when I wake up in the morning.
I can always wake him up when I have a nightmare and he comforts me.
He puts down anything he’s doing and hugs me when I want.
He never demands anything of me.
He always tells me if I’ve done something that bothers him.
He cooks amazing, restaurant quality meals for me.
He always does little things to show he loves me, like buying me treats at the grocery store.
He’ll come with me to a show even if he doesn’t really want to because he wants to keep me company.
He never crowds me or tells me what to do.
He’s a deeply emotional person and doesn’t judge me when I get really sad.
He kisses me awake in the sweetest way.
Despite his age, he has a beautiful body.
He has never pressured me to have sex and never will.
He’s incredibly self motivated and creative.
He has inspired me to be more creative and try new things.
He has made it possible for me to travel all over the world and play music.
He has shown me how to create original music.
He has shown me it’s ok to be yourself.
He has taught me to be a warrior.
He has embraced me for who I am.
He never judges me.
He demonstrates resilience and patience in difficult circumstances.
He is easy to travel with.
He is extremely protective of me.
He shows me you can still be creative when you get older.
We have fun when we go out to eat together.
He gets so happy when we have a good prayformance.
I can sing into his eyes.
He lets me do whatever I want in prayformance, just so long as I don’t leave him out or hurt his feelings.
He shows me he loves me without having to say it all the time, but he always does. He forgives me easily.
He knows exactly what to do when I’m crying, not say anything and just hold me.
He tries to be positive when I’m feeling sad.
He’s really fun to hang around.
He makes me laugh.
He has an amazing laugh.
He has introduced me to a lot of amazing people.
He’s really good at giving me alone time, even when he’s with me.
He knows how to give me privacy.
We can talk about anything, and we have really interesting, philosophical conversations.
I can ask him anything and he gives great advice.
He never tries to change me.
He gets super serious in front of cameras, but he’s really just a silly little cuddle bear. People don’t really know how silly he is.
He says more non-words then real words throughout the day.
He talks to himself when he’s working on his computer.
He is the most creative person I’ve ever known.
He adorns himself and wears skirts.
He is humble, despite his immense power and creative genius.
He has one of the most beautiful and powerful countertenor voices I’ve ever heard.
I love singing and prayforming with him.
He is the most creative person I’ve ever met.
He’s very young for his age.
He ages very well.
He works really hard.
He’s really cute.
He’s a beautiful, sensitive soul.
He loves me no matter what.
He is my inspiration.