Category Archives: Wedding

Unforgettable, Magical Wedding Performance Experience

Wednesday September 20th 2016

We got up at 4am. Stayed up until 7am, I went back to sleep until 2pm. Thoth got up again at 11am. Went to get a bagel and a smoothie. Did my makeup, got dressed and took a cab to the wedding venue. It was a 20 minute ride. Pretty easy, but I was so tired I thought I would collapse. We arrived at 5pm. Viktoria ran over to greet us. She told us Yuriy was at the back. Went to say hello to him, and his best man. We relaxed while everyone ran around to get ready. They wanted us to open the ceremony. We played “Anya” while everyone took their seats. It was beautiful.

We went up to the bar to get drinks (non alcoholic) and waited until the ceremony finished. We played another song in the light of the sunset. People loved it. Lots of wonderful feedback from new friends. When Yuriy and Viktoria arrived, we played two more songs for them in a different spot. We put our instruments away and went to be seated for dinner. We’d made friends with two guys named Michael and Aly, so we asked to sit with them. They added an extra table for us! There were lots of tapas courses served and lots of speeches.

After dinner, Thoth got our stuff and the couple invited everyone in to hear our last two songs. One exuberant and playful, the last sweet and loving, “Scottish Song.” Yuriy and Viktoria were holding each other. Every time I looked at them, I started crying! That’s never happened to me before. It’s such an emotional song. It was made for couples. We all hugged and I cried. They paid us and called us a taxi. We talked with Viktoria about how amazing it was we could come. I got a bunch of our new friend’s numbers and we took the cab home. We have friends in Canada now!

Got home at 11:30pm, showered and fell into bed exhausted at midnight.

Wedding, Break Dancers and a Party !

Sunday September 4th 2016

Woke up in the night. Spilled water on my computer. Was too tired. Got up around 9am, computer wouldn’t turn on. S*it!

Got dressed up more than I have since we got to NYC. Sunday’s our best day here usually. Got to the Angel Tunnel earlier than usual. The wedding party didn’t all arrive until 3:30pm. We brought them into the center and played “Anya” with them facing each other. We had less time than we thought. They had a carriage coming at 3:50pm. Thoth and I each read the vows and ring exchanges to the couple. It was pretty special. Our first wedding. Amazing actually. First wedding in 7 years! They kissed and we continued playing.

Sean, the Chinese photographer who loved us so much on Friday, came back to see us. His friend said he wanted to invite us to dinner. I was excited. He asked when we’d be finished. “5:30.” we said. “I have a party my house.” he said in broken English. He can’t speak English. “Do you want us to come?” I asked. “Yes!” he said. I could tell he was in a hurry, though he didn’t show it. “I pick you up.” he said. We decided to finish at 5.

Just then a group of break dancers we’d never seen before set their boom box in front of the tunnel and blasted it full volume. I was in shock. Usually I don’t get angry and I act like it’s not bothering me. Today I didn’t. I went into their crowd in front of one of them and yelled at them. I chastised them for setting up on us and told them how rude and disrespectful they were being. It felt amazing. I was fearless. Sean filmed me. I was so glad someone was getting it on film. I could post it to our vlog later. Bad behavior needs to be punished. The reason they do it is because they think they can get away with it!

I was exhilarated, and Thoth was so proud of me. “Don’t get mad.” Sean said patting me on the back. “Are you happy?” he said. “Let’s go drink!” Vlad was suddenly there. He was very sad and need to talk. I listened as best I could, though I was distracted by what I’d just done. We walked with Sean to his fancy apartment on 6th avenue. My mouth dropped. It was so beautiful, and what an amazing view! “This is your home.” he said. All these rich, famous Chinese artists arrived for the party. We played “Scottish Song” for them and they loved it. They wanted us to sing another, so we played “Pentagram.” Sean sang exuberantly with us. I was exhausted after that and ate dinner, sitting with our new friends. We laughed and talked with everyone. Sean sat with us. “My sister.” he said hugging me. He’s so affectionate. It was a lovely, intimate night. We exchanged cards with a few people and I lay down to rest. Sean covered me with a blanket. We got a ride home from Bing and her husband. What a day! Amazing day!

FIRST PRAYFORMANCE AS HUSBAND AND WIFE IN GOLDEN GATE PARK!

Sunday May 18th 2014

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERAI didn’t sleep very well last night. I was more nervous about today. I woke at 10 and sissy arrived. I got dressed in my costume and sissy arrived. Daddy called. “Do you need anything to eat?” he said. “No, I’m fine daddy.” I said. Sis made us smoothies and put on a little makeup. Daddy arrived and sat outside with sis while we got ready. I ate some of her bagel. I knew I’d be really hungry today. “I’m going to stay home and help Nancee clean up. I won’t make it into the city today.” he said. Sis, Thoth and I left the house just as Chris pulled in. “Going to work?” Chris said. “Yup!” we said. We packed the car with our violins and bags and headed to San Francisco at noon.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERASis drove us into the city, but she had to pee so Thoth took over once we hit traffic. The road near the Panhandel was completely blocked, so we had to go a different way. When it hit 2 o’clock, I started getting uncomfortable and car sick. Everything was blocked off for Bay to Breakers. There were tons of people in costume. “I don’t think we’re going to play today.” I said. “Just trust me Young Lady.” Thoth said. We had to drive all the way around the park to finally get in. Surprisingly, it was easy to find a parking spot right near the tunnel. It had taken us over 2 hours to get to the park! We gave sis some money to get ice cream and walked to the tunnel. “It’s closed.” Thoth said. “Thank God.” I said.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERASANYO DIGITAL CAMERAThere was no one near the tunnel, but there were tons of people lying on the grass nearby. “No one is going to get here.” I said. I got a text message from Forrest asking us where we were. I gave him directions and he showed up a moment later. I was shocked! “Forrest is here!” he said. He talked with us while we got ready. And lo and behold, Eric, Belinda and their girls showed up with a few friends too! “It’s your first prayformance as a married couple!” Eric said. I was amazed people from the wedding party actually got here!! We set up quick to play.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERAAt first, no one accept our wedding friends sat down to watch us. It made me feel sad. I wondered if it would’t be such a good day after all. Our spirits were perked up as we saw Anandabodhi and some of the other nuns from Aloka Vihara! Anandabodhi place a bottle of juice near our set up. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw her and I smiled the rest of the piece. I feel a connection to the nuns. We are doing a devotional practice as they are. When I saw them, I saw my marriage as some kind of spiritual precipice that I jumped over. Now that I’m on the other side of it, I feel I am the eternal virgin bride. I’m going to wear my veil headdress as long as I can stand it. My sister arrived as we started “Gypsy Dance.” She said hello to the nuns. They’d never met my twin before. They stayed for several songs, then hugged us and left. Three other members of the wedding party arrived, John, Ellen and her daughter. I was very happy to see them, too! We told our audiences a few times we just got married and this is our public wedding. They cheered every time! It turned out to be a much better day then I thought it would be!

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERAWhen we finished, I was absolute exhausted. I collapsed on Belinda’s mat on the grass while Thoth set up the camera. I took pictures of myself and my new ring and then we took pictures together and made our video. What an awesome day! Forrest had to rush to the airport so he gave us hugs goodbye. Sis handed me some money. “It’s from Forrest. He handed it to Thoth and ran away.” sis said. ” Sis and I held each other and started pretend crying. “Forrest really loves you.” sis said between her fake sobs. We sat on the grass with our friends while we packed up. John played with the kids. I hugged him and thanked him for the generous donation he gave us last night. “Life has been very good to me lately so I want to pass that on.” John said. “It shocked me.” I said. “Good. That was the intention.” John said. “I got the idea when you said you wanted to go to Japan but couldn’t unless you had a lot of money. You don’t have to use it to got to Japan, you can use it for anything you want.” he said. John gives great hugs. He’s very tall so he has to bend his knees and wrap his arms around me. It feels very loving and enfolding. Sis went to get the car and we all said goodbye an drove home.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERASANYO DIGITAL CAMERASANYO DIGITAL CAMERAI called daddy and he came over when we got home at 6:30. Thoth and I were exhausted so we got out of our costumes (but not our makeup) and dad drove me, Thoth, Nana and sis to sushi dinner! There was a half hour wait, so we got drinks and snacks and waited at the bar. We did this funny game with dad where we close and open his mouth with our hands while he made this funny sound. We used to do that all the time when we were kids. Hysterical. While Thoth was getting drinks, he told me two girls flirted with him. “They just turned 21 and they wanted me to drink with them.” Thoth said. “Did you say you were married?” I said. “Yep.” Thoth said. “They were one day too late. You were available until this time yesterday!” Dad said. We were seated and I ordered a bunch of sushi rolls. We haven’t been to this place in a few years. Last time, we went with Michael and ordered so much food it was shocking. Michael always orders a lot of sushi. Thoth ordered saki to share with Nana at first, but he got a beer at the table, then Dad ordered another beer and Thoth some of his. “If you’re gonna be my son, you have to drink beer.” Dad said. “I’m gonna be tipsy tonight.” Thoth said. “You’ll never see me drunk. I’ll throw up before I get drunk.” “Dad hold his beer better than most people.” I said. “The only time she’s ever seen me tipsy I was dancing around the streets in Lisbon.” Thoth said. “It was so cute.” I said. Thoth and I went to the bathroom together. “I love being married to you. I feel so safe now. I can flirt still, but I’m protected.” he said. “It’s great, isn’t it?” I said. “I can be a tease forever.” Thoth said. At the table, we decided we’d make a new CD this December with Michael Chiaravelotti and Rhan Wilson in Oakland! It will be much easier to get them because they both live very close by. Dad also knows a great studio to rent. Exciting! I need to start planning and make a budget. We offered Dad to help pay the bill, but dad quoted “The Sopranos,” “When it’s your family, you pay, when it’s my family I pay.” he said.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERAWe walked to the car and I heard Nana, sis and Thoth laughing. “You have to hear Nancee do Baby Owl!” sis said. I ran over to listen. Nana tiled her head up suddenly, and made this tiny little high pitched hoot sound. It was adorable! We laughed so hard. In the car, we joked about it continuously. “We should make a song called ‘Baby Owl!’ on the new album. “I can have a lush string arrangement and at the end we can all go “Whoo.” together. We laughed in hysterics. “We can call it ‘Tribal Baroque does The “Whoo.”‘ I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERAWhen we got home, Daddy hugged and kissed us goodbye. “See you in December then.” he said. Sis hugged and kissed me and went home. I got to work writing the blogs for the past two days. It was past 2 am when I got finished. Thoth was fast asleep and I joined him.

MY WEDDING DAY, THE DAY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR THE PAST 4 1/2 YEARS!

Saturday May 17th 2014

I slept well because I took some Rescue Remedy last night. Nana fed little drops to me and Bunny like we were kittens. We lay on our backs and meowed. It was adorable. When I woke up, I couldn’t believe today was the day. I am really getting married! Bunny was there. He kissed me good morning. “You’re dad brought 2 dozen balloons in his car. Check them out and let him know if you want some more. We’ve already popped a couple. Sis came upstairs. “Guess who is here? Guess?” she said. “Who?” I said. “Will!” she said. I got dressed quickly and ran downstairs. I almost cried when I saw Will. I haven’t seen him in at least 7 years. Will was my first mentor when was growing up in Nashville. I met him when I was about 15 years old. He’s the announcer on 90.3 WPLN Nashville Public Radio. He’s such calming presence. He and I sang live together on the classical station when I was 17. We sang a duet from “The Abduction from the Seraglio” by Mozart. It was an amazing experience for me. I think the same night sis and I won the high school talent show singing “We are Women” from ‘Candide.” Anyway, I was so thrilled to see him!

Sis, Dad, and Will went next door to the cafe for breakfast. I said I’d meet them there, but I needed to call my caters to double check what time they’d come. Once everything was set, I left the house to meet them. They were walking back. Oh well! I couldn’t eat anyway, I was so nervous. Dad went home to relax. “I’ll be back around 3:30. I’ll pick up some more balloons for you.” dad said. Sis and I sat at the piano. She improvised in C. I took a Babe, a bear dressed as an octopus, and had him “play” with his tentacles. It made us laugh, a lot. Will filmed us. He thinks we’re so cute. I then played a pretty little ostinato and sis improvised on top. “Jamie can you take me home?” Will sang. “Can you come right back when you drop Will off?” I asked sis. “No, I’m leaving forever.” sis said joking.

I helped Nana and Thoth with last minute set up. I went into the garage and organized the roses into bunches to put in vases. It was 2pm and we needed to start getting ready. Thoth and I went upstairs. I had him get his outfit and anything else he needed out of the bedroom so I could get ready. I didn’t want him to see me in my outfit until I walked down the “aisle.”

SIs arrived a little later. She came upstairs and got ready with me. I covered my face in concealer, then put on white foundation and covered it with baby powder. At first, I didn’t really like it. I almost washed it off, actually! I painted some decoration around my eyes, which I didn’t like either until it was finished. It was so hard to do makeup. I wanted it to be perfect and my hands were shaking. I was so nervous! “Does it look ok, sis?” I asked. “You look beautiful, sis. Really.” she said. Once I got on my hoop skirt and headdress, we dressed sissy. She wore one of my decoden bras and a pink skirt of mine. “Will you do some makeup for me? Make it kind of like yours, but not as extravagant. The bride has to look the prettiest.” she asked. I painted some wispy white decorations around her eyes. She looked beautiful, too! Deborah came in and gave me a gift. “You know in weddings it’s ‘Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.'” she said. I opened her gift. It was pink dangly earrings! I didn’t have any earrings to wear, so I put them on. They matched my outfit perfectly. I asked Deborah to bring me some roses to make a bouquet. I had ordered a bouquet online, but they never arrived. I tied the roses together with some ribbon.

Our guests. Photo by Jamie Stobie

10 minutes before the ceremony, sis and I went into the bathroom. I listened for Nana to ring her bell. Everyone got very quiet. When she rang the first bell, Thoth went to the alter, took up his violin, and stood in stillness. When Nana rang the bell again, Michael came out. He stood still, as if he was honoring the moment. He then danced towards Thoth. Sis and I put our hands to our mouths. They were so beautiful! I was shocked. I’ve seen them dance together. There’s something super sexy about it. They are both incredible dances, very fluid and graceful. You can see how much they love and trust each other. It’s special and very beautiful. “I think I just fell in love with Michael.” sis said. “I don’t know how I’m going to sing when I’m crying.” I said. Thoth picked up his violin and began singing toward the window. I sang to him, then sis and I ran downstairs. “Don’t trip!” sis said.

Flower Girl/Maid of Honor, my sister Jamie Harkin and me singing to Thoth. Photo by my dad, Brendan Harkin.

I got to the door and sis went ahead of me, tossing rose petals in the air while I sang. I felt beautiful.

Me walking up the aisle singing to my future husband. Photo by Brendan Harkin.

Dad was there filming us and talking pictures. I saw him out of the corner of my eye as I went by.

The Ceremony, Photo by Jamie Stobie.

I went to the alter and stood next to Thoth. We finished our “Scottish Song” and Nana came to the stage. Thoth had his eyes closed. I could tell he was terribly nervous. I’d never seen him like that before. He was like a little boy. A few times Nana told us to take a deep breath during the ceremony and she told Thoth twice to open his eyes and look at people. A few times Nana told us to take a deep breath during the ceremony and she told Thoth twice to open his eyes and look at people.

The Blushing Bride: me, and smiling Maid of Honor: my twin sister Jamie Harkin. Photo Brendan Harkin.

Me as I prepare to be married. I’m all nerves! Photo by Brendan Harkin.

Saying our vows. That’s Thoth’s Best Man, Michael Chiaravelotti to his left. Photo by Jamie Stobie.

When we got to the vows, I repeated Nana exactly. I was planning to improvise, but I was so trepidatious, I just stuck to the words she gave me. Thoth, on the other hand, improvised, a lot, and got lost a few times. He did a yelp, which was so cute. I was surprised how quiet our guests were. I was expecting them to be more interactive.

The ring exchange! Photo by Jamie Stobie.

I got teary eyed when we exchanged rings. I really couldn’t believe it was happening. We turned to our guests and Nana invited them to send us blessings or well wishes, either silently or allowed. The only one I remember is Harriet, Thoth’s sister, saying, “Good Lessons.” The final thing Nana said was, “Thoth and Lila, you may kiss!” The instant Thoth pressed his lips to mine, I realized   my face was covered in makeup! He really went for it! I didn’t know what he would do! When he pulled away from me, his mouth was covered in my white makeup! We picked up our violins. Our guests were silent.

Me as a new bride singing “Sea Expressions.” Photo by Jamie Stobie.

Photo of us performing after the ceremony. It was all a blur! Photo by Sunkiss.

“Sea Expressions” went fine, but I completely forgot what key “Pentagram” was in! Thoth tried to help me, but I still couldn’t figure it out. We changed into another rhythm, and then another.

Singing to my new husband. Photo by Jamie Stobie.

Photo by Jamie Stobie.

Photo by Jamie Stobie.

“Was that a new piece?” sis asked me when we finished. “Yes.” I said. Michael joined us next. We started in the key of G. It was very fun. Michael is such a joy to play with. I fall in love with him every time he plays with us. I fall in love with everyone we perform with. He looks at me with such intention. He’s such a great musician and follows so well. Next, Rhan joined us on his bass. We played this time in A, and that was super fun. We each plucked our violins in the air. It was great. “That one had a lot of different dynamics and sections.” Michael said. For our encore, we played in E, which was a bad idea. E leaves us with no real bottom note. We’re used to playing in open strings. Anyway, it was what it was. “I’m very impressed, sis. You’re a real musician.” sis said. “You’re able to improvise with anyone.”

The newly weds! Me and Thoth sitting for pictures. Photo by Rhan Wilson.

Happy Couple. Photo by Jamie Stobie.

Me and my sister taking pictures. Photo by Brendan Harkin.

Posing. Photo by Jamie Stobie.

When we finished performing, I was terrified to discover the food hadn’t arrived yet. My mind started racing. “What if they don’t come?” I thought. “What if we have no food?” I had to run upstairs and call the caterers. Just as I did, Plearn arrived! I was so relieved. I had a message from Pinkberry. “We don’t have Mint Chocolate Cookie anymore, but I’m bringing Salted Caramel and some extra Pomegranate.” the woman said.  I went downstairs. “How do you feel?” people said. “I can’t believe it just happened!” I said. Outside, our friends started congratulating us and took pictures. Nana had us stay up on the patio. “OK, you can come down now!” she said. They all threw confetti in the air! We were so surprised I got some in my mouth! It was funny, and it made me cough! The food wasn’t ready yet, so we had everyone make a circle and hold hands. I said thank you and so did Thoth, then we went around the circle and had everyone say how they knew us. People took longer then I thought they would, so we had to stop before the food got cold.

the-thoth-band 2

The band. From left to right: Rhan Wilson (bassist,) Michael Chiaravelotti (drummer,) Thoth( violin and countertenor,) and me, (violin and soprano) with our Pinkberry ice-creams!

We opened up the food containers, but there were no serving utensils! Nana and Deborah ran in the kitchen and got anything they could find to serve the food. It’s interesting how people get things done when they need to be done. I let the little girls Ruby and Lou serve themselves first, then I dug in! The food was delicious. I had pad thai and soup and some fresh rolls. We had our favorite thai place cater, and they did a fantastic job! Thank goodness. I’ve never thrown a party before or catered or anything so I had no clue if it would work out our not. Pinkberry, my favorite frozen yogurt place, arrived with dessert. I was thrilled. They set up as everyone ate dinner. I got yogurt, pomegranate of course. People had already got some. I had raspberries, mangos, strawberries and granola on top. It was amazingly delicious. Everyone loved it. “Good choice.” daddy, sis and Thoth said. It was my idea. 🙂 The band, Michael, Rhan, Thoth and me, took some pictures together.

When dinner was over, Nate asked if I wanted to sing some arias before he went home. We went into the living room and rehearsed. I wanted to sing, “Willow Song,” from “The Balled of Baby Doe.” I went out to tell Thoth I was going to sing. “Get Will.” I told sis. As I started singing, people came in the living room to listen. After I sang “Willow Song,” we decided to try “Green Finch and Linnet Bird.” Sis started singing along with me. When I told her to stop, she started making fun of the song and wouldn’t stop. “Sis, stop!” I told her. She finally did. When I finished singing, Nana said, “Time to dance!”

We all went outside for our First Dance.  I wasn’t expecting us to do a first dance, but it was fun! Charley played “At Last.” Not my favorite song, but we can dance to anything. Our dancing is very theatrical. We don’t just hold each other and waddle our feet back and forth like couples usually do. When that was over, Charley played “Happy,” a song I was actually really hoping he would play! Thoth and Michael and I really went to town dancing for the first few songs, but we got tired fast. Nana danced forever. Michael played his drum for a while, which made it even more fun to dance. We took breaks, then danced, then took breaks, then danced some more. One time, Will and Thoth were dancing to “Happy” and Will sang along! It was so cute! He sang really high. At one point, I couldn’t find Thoth. “Where’s my husband?” I said. “He’s run off.” Dad said teasing me. I found him sitting with our friend Annie. “I hope you don’t mind I’m flirting with Annie.” Thoth said. “Bunny, you can flirt with anyone you want to. I’m in love with everyone here. I really want you to know that just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t flirt anymore.” I said. “Isn’t that amazing she can say that?” Thoth said. “You’re a lucky man.” Annie said. Eventually Michael, Thoth, sis, a bunch of other friends and I were in the kitchen talking and laughing. Michael said something about a “big bahookie.” Sis and I thought the word was hysterical and asked him what it meant. “It means butt.” he said. Sis and I starting making a joke saying, “You’ve got a big fuckin’ bahookie.” with a Scottish accent. It was freaking hysterical. We couldn’t stop saying it. Michael was laughing, too. “You give them something and they just go with it and I say, ‘Wait up for me! I want to have fun, too!'” Michael said. He loves clowning around with us.

Before people started leaving, we gathered Nana, Michael, sis and Thoth together to sign our marriage certificate. Michael and sissy signed as witnesses and Nana signed as the officiator. Michael helped Charley get his gear to his car and came to say goodbye. He gave my sister little pecks on the shoulder. I was shocked. Usually he doesn’t show physical affection like that. “Do it to me, too.” I said. He pecked me gently on the shoulder. It was lovely. We stood in the doorway with Chris and Khalil and talked for a while. Sis was being a clown and talked about sex, as usual. The family members started packing up food and drinks and said goodbye. We went with Sunkiss and Bartoz to see their camper van before they left. “We’re trying to pay it off. Then you could use it whenever you needed.” Sunkiss said. We were exhausted, so we hugged them and said goodbye.

The house was empty, accept Nana and Chris. We went upstairs and I got in the shower while Thoth iced his knee. I sat on the bed and opened cards with Thoth. Everyone was so generous and loving. Our friend John gave us a very big donation. I was shocked. I was feeling so loved, but now I feel even more so. We are doing so well right now.” I said. I put the cards and money back in the basket and got in bed with Bunny.

(PS. These is the first of many photos to come!)

Final Wedding Preperations and Rehearsal Dinner

Friday May 16th 2014

Counterclockwise from the upper lefthand corner: Daddy, Thoth, me, Michael and Nana.

We got a table outside on the patio. While we waited for Thoth, Nana and Dad, we joked and were silly with each other. “You two give me permission to be silly.” Michael said. “When daddy gets here, it will get all serious.” sis said. “We’ll see about that.” Michael said. When they arrived, we ordered drinks and had a delicious dinner. À Côté is a tapas place so everyone ate off everyone else’s plate. I had fun feeding Michael. He’s always making faces and doing accents with us. It’s fun. He’s a very theatrical person, but shy too. The food was so good! Dad tooted our horns during dinner. He bragged about how we can “pin drop” on any opera and tell you what’s going on and sing it word for word, among other things. It was kind of embarrassing. He told Nana about all his escapades with his old band and playing in Broadway pits and his recording business. Dad took Thoth, Michael, me and Nana home and sis went to pick up Will. We said goodbye to Dad. He’s going to pick up balloons for us tomorrow morning. “What is my call time tomorrow?” Michael asked. “4. If you can be there earlier, that’d be great, but the latest is 4.” we said. Michael kissed us and went home. I took a shower and listened to music. Thoth watched tennis and read in bed. I got a message from our friend Helen. “I excited about tomorrow!” she said. I was shocked because I forgot to put her and her dad on the guest list. I have to call my caterers tomorrow and add two more people. I hope no more surprises pop up like that! It turned out they can’t stay for dinner, so everything works out!